Thank You
Dear Moms
First I want to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers yesterday for me and for Cara. It was a kind of hard day but ended up better. I made Cara a cake yesterday. I don't understand why it mattered to me but it did. I debated about whether I should make the cake... I mean she can't eat it... but finally decided I wanted to and actually felt like just making Cara a cake allowed me to recapture some of that celebatory feeling from years past...
I miss her something awful... I still ask myself all the million and one questions we all ask from time to time... I cry... I scream... and finally.. I have found that there are still blessings in life. Keeping the good memories of Cara down through the years is a blessing.
At the end of the day I had an answer for a question that has plagued me.
I have hesitated celebrating Cara’s birthday because I did not know in my mind how old she is… How old will she be in the coming years… 30? 31? … 34?… If she had lived Cara would have been 34 yesterday… but she is not 34... She is 30... I finally accept that she will always be 30. I am actually glad to have made a decision.
I have also decided how I will answer the question of how many children I have… I have 2 children… A daughter and a son. I no longer feel its important for anyone to know any thing more than that…
If I get to know someone well enough to want to share that is time soon enough for them to know anything more... They don't know... they don't care... and that is fine...
Do you all find yourselves needing to sort out things like this in your mind?
I read a story yesterday about a young man who died as a result of injuries he received in a club brawl. My heart ached for his mother. I was bothered by one thing though… she mentioned several times in her story that her son’s attackers were Asian. I wanted to tell her that promoting hate was not a good way to honor her son… I didn’t say anything. I don’t want to argue with the lady… but I just wanted to share my thoughts with you all and asked what you thought.
I have been reading the posts but not responding too much. Unfortunately most days when I read through a few posts I am somewhat nauseated. I am having a hard time getting used to being basically one eyed. I went to the doctor last Friday and he added some more drops. I don’t like the drops as they actually seem to be making me feel a bit queasy and off center… I am trying to swing along with the program. What I want most of all for you all to know is that I do read your posts and I’m moved by what you share… I keep you in my prayers. Hugs Elissa Cara’s Mom For Always
First I want to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers yesterday for me and for Cara. It was a kind of hard day but ended up better. I made Cara a cake yesterday. I don't understand why it mattered to me but it did. I debated about whether I should make the cake... I mean she can't eat it... but finally decided I wanted to and actually felt like just making Cara a cake allowed me to recapture some of that celebatory feeling from years past...
I miss her something awful... I still ask myself all the million and one questions we all ask from time to time... I cry... I scream... and finally.. I have found that there are still blessings in life. Keeping the good memories of Cara down through the years is a blessing.
At the end of the day I had an answer for a question that has plagued me.
I have hesitated celebrating Cara’s birthday because I did not know in my mind how old she is… How old will she be in the coming years… 30? 31? … 34?… If she had lived Cara would have been 34 yesterday… but she is not 34... She is 30... I finally accept that she will always be 30. I am actually glad to have made a decision.
I have also decided how I will answer the question of how many children I have… I have 2 children… A daughter and a son. I no longer feel its important for anyone to know any thing more than that…
If I get to know someone well enough to want to share that is time soon enough for them to know anything more... They don't know... they don't care... and that is fine...
Do you all find yourselves needing to sort out things like this in your mind?
I read a story yesterday about a young man who died as a result of injuries he received in a club brawl. My heart ached for his mother. I was bothered by one thing though… she mentioned several times in her story that her son’s attackers were Asian. I wanted to tell her that promoting hate was not a good way to honor her son… I didn’t say anything. I don’t want to argue with the lady… but I just wanted to share my thoughts with you all and asked what you thought.
I have been reading the posts but not responding too much. Unfortunately most days when I read through a few posts I am somewhat nauseated. I am having a hard time getting used to being basically one eyed. I went to the doctor last Friday and he added some more drops. I don’t like the drops as they actually seem to be making me feel a bit queasy and off center… I am trying to swing along with the program. What I want most of all for you all to know is that I do read your posts and I’m moved by what you share… I keep you in my prayers. Hugs Elissa Cara’s Mom For Always
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