<>I want to share once again some thoughts that circle in my mind... I do believe that our children do still live... The reason I believe this so strongly is because years ago I had a dream in which my husband and I having come across a woman in a coffin who had died about 20 years prior told us that "nothing ever dies, it only changes form." There's a bit more to the dream than that but I don't want to bore people... that was the important message of the dream... Although I didn't realize it at the time... Another thing about the dream I remember is that when I woke up I couldn't seem to shake the dream state... You know how most of the time when we wake up our dreams vanish from our memory... even when we want to, its hard to remember the details... This time I couldn't stop thinking about the dream... It was kind of like where I had been in that dream was the reality and where I was once I awoke in my little home was alien.... Its so very hard to explain. I had never had that happen before... I'd remember dreams but I didn't feel trapped in the dream... actually I remembered dreams only in fragments... This time the dream was all there... and so was I.... slowly I felt myself become part of my "real" world. It took about 3 hours. I remember that so very vividly because it was just so odd. It was almost frightening... I wrote about the dream a few months later in my journal for an English Writing Class I was taking. After that I seldom thought about the dream for years. Even after Cara died it didn't immediately come to mind but eventually it did. I dug out my old journal and reread what I'd wrote and posted the story in my journal here... Now to the point of this whole message... Recently I thought to myself... The lady in the coffin was an angel... and she brought that message to me because God knew what was going to happen and he wanted me to know that while Cara's physical being had died her spirit had not. That all of us have both a physical and a spirit being... I was comforted to think of that woman as an angel... I don't know why... It is as if I stumbled on the rest of the story and now I can accept this as an absolute. I don't say I'll never have doubts but I know I have felt that I have closure for several weeks now with this "revelation." I do believe the lady was an angel and I do believe her message. <>I still have questions about God and Jesus, Allah, Mohammad, Buddah.... I do believe there is a Higher Power... I am not sure if its necessary to know His name... I feel a need to find God once again because it hurts not to have my faith questions at ease... Perhaps I can reconcile my own reluctance to demand that all people worship my way by accepting that the Bible is very correct when it says our ignorance is abysmal... but this is all thoughts for another day... Thanks for letting me ramble... I'd love to hear how things are resolving or not resolving in your mind.... Hugs Elissa
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