I had a bit of a shock... The phone rang... and a voice that sounded like Cara's said mom.... Instantly my mind racing... I'm thinking oh God she's alive... I was waiting for Cara to tell me how somehow she'd been allowed ot come back... Of course it wasn't Cara... the lady didn't even say mom... it was a business call... I can't believe how quickly I was ready to believe that somehow Cara could come back... I have cried off and on the rest of the day... For a moment it was so wonderful... Sometimes I don't know how we stand it.... my instant ability to believe Cara was on the phone... makes me know how much I don't want for her to be gone... like I didn't already know... of course I know... but somehow I thought I was handling it... The pain is so very near the surface.... I feel like I'm crazy... I think if just hearing what I thought was Cara's voice could make me so happy... oh God how I wish I could hire someone to call and pretend she was Cara... Like I said... I've gone crazy... I haven't you know... Sometimes I wish I could if crazy would mean I couldn't think... didn't know anything... didn't remember and have to hurt over and over like this... Like I said... it turned out to be a very bad day....
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When Pat died I called her cell phone over and over just to hear her voice. Then one day I called and it said her phone was turned off. Her daughter had it reassigned in her name and erased Pat\'s voice mail. It took me about two months of searching but I found a vcr tape with Pat on it at Christmastime and she\'s talking and laughing and even singing.
I do so know how you feel. Sometimes I see a kid in the store that has platinum blond hair and I swear it looks like Timmy. If he smiles at me I think it\'s Timmy smiling through him....you know sort of sending me a message. So my dear if you are crazy then so am I. Isn\'t crazy a wonderful thing?
Love ya, Kathy
(((Elissa))) I am so sorry. One day there was a call here and it was a young man who had the wrong number but he said \"mom\"...instantly I went to that place where I was sure it had all been a mistake, even though it wasn\'t the same voice, it took me by such surprise that I was sure it was my boy. Just hearing a familiar sounding voice, or \"mom\"...that\'s all it takes for us. I don\'t think I will ever truly understand that he\'s gone...not really. I hope today is better for you. Love you.
Elissa, Just yesterday on my way home from work, of course all I think about is Shannon when I am in the car. I was praying to God that all I wanted was to hear her say Hi Mom, just those words, I want to hear them so bad. I know that I have gone crazy because sometimes I put my cell phone to my ear in the car and I talk to her. I guess its better than people thinking I\'m some crazy lady talking to myself, which I am. Love, Dianne
I am so very sorry you are going thru this.. I guess its part of the process. somethings we believe so much or want to believe so much we can actually hear their voice. I know I have too. I hope that in time God stays strong in your heart and helps you find a way. my love and concern for you. gail
I wish for the same everyday, just to hear his voice or have him be able to come back. Other times I also believe I\'m crazy and don\'t want to think about him being gone, right there with you thinking I\'m doing okay and then WHAM, reality hits out of the blue and I\'m crushed and reliving that night and the following horrid days. Wish I was there to hug you! My love and prayers, Lynette ~ Matthews mom