Terry  is a friend on loving arms who's daughter Sarah passed... Sarah reminds me a lot of Cara so I feel a special affection for her...  Anyway this is the tribute to Sarah, I guess you'd call it that Terry always closes her letters with... and it really touches my heart so I wanted to share it with you....      Sarah Nicole Lynn Jackson  3/9/79 - 12/21/05  "... As long as I still can reach out, and touch you  Then I will never die." Cara touches my life every day...  These are some funnies Terry sent...  I decided I was making myself worse going through all those painful moments... and I decided there is no rule that says I have to keep going that direction...  How liberating to make that decision...  Anyway I hope yall enjoy the funnies... Hugs Elissa        IDIOT SIGHTING: We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us  that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'No, it's not. Four is larger than two...'   We haven't used Sears repair since.     IDIOT SIGHTING: My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.  She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes, I know, but this  way you can just give me a dollar bill back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said we're sorry but we can't do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.  IDIOT SIGHTING: I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.' From Kingman , KS     IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.   From Kansas City     IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.' Happened in Birmingham , Alabama  IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'   She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS     IDIOT SIGHTING: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.   This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.     IDIOT SIGHTING: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system woul d not turn on.   A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.     IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.' This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , Mississippi WOW I  could have had a V8!!!  <>STAY ALERT! They walk and drive among us... And the scary part is that they VOTE and REPRODUCE.                         Only in America .......do drugstores make the sick                         walk all the way to the back of the store to get                         their prescriptions while healthy                          people can buy cigarettes at the front.                         Only in America ......do people order double                         cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.                         Only in America ......do banks leave both doors                         open and then chain the pens to the counters.                         Only in America ......do we leave cars worth                         thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our                         useless junk in the garage.                         Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in                         packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.                         (They fixed this problem... now there are eight hot dogs in a package...)    <>                        Hmmmmmmm is that better....<>                        Only in America ......do we use the word 'politics'                         to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin                         meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking                         creatures'.                         Only in America ......do they have drive-up ATM                         machines with Braille lettering.                         EVER WONDER ....                         Why the sun lightens our hair,                         but darkens our skin ?                         Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth                         closed?                         Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins                         Lottery"?                         Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?                         Why is it that doctors call what they do                         "practice"?                         Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and                         dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?                         Why is the man who invests all your money called a                         broker?                         Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic                         called rush hour?                         Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?                         (My cat likes this one....)                         Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?                         Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal                         injections ?                         You know that indestructible black box that is used                         on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane                         out of that stuff?!                         Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?                         Why are they called apartments when they are all                         stuck together?                         If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the                         opposite of progress?                         If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport                         the terminal?