DOG DIARY        8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!      9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!      9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!      10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!      12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!      1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!      3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!      5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!      7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!      8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!      11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!    Dogs are so cute... they love you for every little gesture of affection... and poor babies even when you don't deserve it they come running to tell you how much they love you...            CAT DIARY        Day 983 of my captivity.        My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.     They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort  <>    of  dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless      must eat something in order to keep up my strength.The only thing that keeps me going is     my dream of escape.        In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.      Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this      would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.      However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I <>     am. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my  confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.      Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his  feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow but at the top of the stairs.      I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.      The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.   Well... now you know the flaw in cats... They are tolerating us until they can take over our planet... Planet Of The Apes... HMPH!!!  Better worry about When Mousers Rule The World...    Truly I don't think any creature animal or human can show such complete disdain as a cat...  We have learned that if we want Piper to be pleased with us we must watch for signs... Purring usually indicates we're doing something right... that has been pretty consistent... however the tail wagging thing gets me sometimes... Mostly it indicates that M'sieur Piper is not happy with me... which severely upsets me... (Piper... perhaps your kiss my attitude has rubbed off on me a bit....  oops) back to tail wagging....  sometimes he wags his tail and purrs at the same time...   Now what the heck does that mean...   I am learning to wait till Piper signals that this that or the other is ok... and I need to be aware that what was ok yesterday may not be ok today....   Could someone remind me why did I want a cat???   I told a friend of mine that Piper reminds me of the jerk boyfriend that you know you should kick to the curb.... but alas... you love him... Why for goodness sakes...  Heck I don't know... Maybe I'm becoming a masochist... Nope... any ass whupping gonna be done I'm holding the whip....  LOL