It has recently come to my attention that there are a lot of rumors going around about why the chicken crossed the road... 

 For Example:

DR. PHIL : " The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems ".   
 

   OPRAH: " Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens."

   GEORGE W. BUSH: "We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here."

COLIN POWELL: " Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road..." .

   ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: "We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road."

   JOHN KERRY: " Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the      wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it."

NANCY GRACE: " That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks."

PAT BUCHANAN: "To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American."

  MARTHA STEWART: "No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information."

   DR SEUSS: " Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told."

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:    "To die in the rain. Alone."

   JERRY FALWELL: "Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?  That's why they call it the ' other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side'. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that."

GRANDPA: "In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough."

    BARBARA WALTERS: "Isn't that interesting?  In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experi enced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road."

JOHN LENNON: "Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace."

ARISTOTLE: " It is the nature of chickens to cross the road."

  BILL GATES: "I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ........ reboot."

ALBERT EINSTEIN: "Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken ."

BILL CLINTON: " I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of c hicken ."

AL GORE: "I invented the chicken!"

COLONEL SANDERS: " Did I miss one?"

DICK CHENEY: " Where's my gun?"

AL SHARPTON: " Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens."

Elissa Smith... An old time country woman.... If they would have asked me in the first place I could have told them the true story about that fool chicken....  The chicken crossed the road because I was after cookin that chicken up for our Sunday dinner... Hey my grandkids like Grandma's Southern Style Fried Chicken...  I grabbed my axe and that chicken took off lickety split... I'm gettin too old and he got away he did... 

Foolish chicken... crossed the road and got ate up by some wild dogs... oh well... that chicken's lot was to be somebody's Sunday Dinner...  We went and got a bucket of the colonels stuff.... *Smile*

I had to come back and add this...

There's a family story about chicken that's been passing around for a few years.... Years ago my grandma and grandpa were expecting company for supper one Sunday.... Grandma was planning on fixing up fried chicken... Grandpa was supposed to kill and clean the chickens... but... Grandpa had stopped at the bar to have a beer with his cronies... and... he liked it so well he tipped a few more...  It was getting well up into the afternoon... Grandma needed to get the chickens on to cook... but Grandpa hadn't made it home... Finally Grandma knew she had to get those chickens ready... so she went out into the chicken pen...  Its harder than you'd think to wring a chicken's neck... Grandma had never wrung a chicken's neck...  she grabbed up a chicken...  she wrung that chicken's neck.... As she swung... she said ... uh Grandma cussed that day... that wasn't like Grandma at all... bu she was some mad... so she says G D you Art Skinner...  whump she swung that chicken in a huge circle and then a jerk and snap... threw the now headless chicken down and reached for the second one... GD you Art Skinner... Whump.... snap... Oh I'm so glad Grandpa didn't get home about that time... It might have been whump... snap and no more Grandpa... LOL   Grandma truly wasn't a violent person but uh oh... when she did get mad... Look Out!!!