Its green smiley Monday and I feel like I can really smile... so its a good Monday... <>I had written to a friend of mine who was sad and missing so many things about her son... It reminded me of a grief exercise I had done and you know to do this is still a blessing... I still think this suggestion is a good idea... so I wanted to share my letter to my friend... I know we will always miss their earthly presence... Today I'm just so glad for memories... <>Hi, I got something from griefshare that your list of all the things you miss reminds me of... It said... when we lose someone... we lose much more than just the presence of that person... we also lose all the things that person was to us... all the roles they played in our lives... and it suggested that we should list the gifts that person brought to our lives... the roles they played.... For example Danny loved you... and he made you feel loved... He gave you smiles... sometimes of amused exasperation... but smiles non the less and you miss those smiles... he was your son... someone you worried about and could care for... He was your buddy... and he made you share your things and like it or lump it... and you liked it and got ticked... you were his mom... so your stuff was his... and thinking back you wish you could share it again... and smile and laugh and hug and hold and fuss and talk to... The list goes on and on... Griefshare suggested you make the list... acknowledge all those things and mourn them.... so that's kind of what you did... and I know you probably cried... I'd say I'm sorry but I'm so glad that for a while you got to see all those times in your mind's eye... I did the list... I cried... but most of all I am so grateful for everything Cara was in my life... She is still a part of my life... but yes I miss the everyday presence, joy and aggravation... the real love... and I am again awed that one little girl... in your case one little boy... could mean so much in our lives... and I know we all are... Damn the pain... its full speed ahead... I am glad we had them... Hugs Elissa
Replies
Absolutely wonderful. When I think of losing Eric very soon thats all I can think about.
The things that I will miss and the things that made me love him. Thank you for sharing.
Love and huge hugs
Roz.
Elissa thank you. This is you coming out again. I love the emmotion and thought that you make real. You know it is also talking to them and arguing with them and discussing with them. You can still be angry, you can still be amused, you can still be exasperated. There will always be things every day that happen that reminds you of something to be angry with, exasperated with, amused with. Allow yourself that. I remember when I was having Timmy....Mickey wanted to name him Colin after his uncle. Now I absolutely loved his uncle BUT Timmy was always going to be Timmy...his name was Timothy Colin...however, while discussing this...Amy who was 11 at the time suggested a compromise....she suggested that Mickey pick the last name and I pick the first name. Please note that Timmy\'s name was Timothy Colin MacDonald. Love Ya, Kathy
I still fuss at him, mostly because he doesn\'t make himself magically appear on command...why not, he always listened to me before! Thank you for the lovely journal. Love you.
You are an amazing friend. I am so glad that you shared that idea with us. I may go ahead and do that myself. It is a wonderful idea, and I never really thought of it that way. I think this will be such a help to so many people. Hugs & love
Candice
AND I SHALL TRY THIS EXERSIZE TODAY, LOOKS LIKE IT COULD BE A GOOD THING TO DO. LOVE YA! *K