So today I was watching a tribute for Julia Roberts... She was being presented with a cinema tech award... and they had this one part where they were showing film clips from some of the most dramatic scenes she has played in various movies... and I started crying and I didn't understand why I was crying... And then I recognized why... I was almost angry... because here she is portraying these emotions... you know that drop you to your knees crying... but at the end of the scene she will get up and walk away... There is no dramatic "Cut" for us... This "scene" goes on and on... Its not make believe... we're going to get no applause nor recognition for the most painful moments ever... and there is no happy ending... and it stinks! <>We don't want applause or recognition... we want not to be in this "movie" Give the role to someone anyone else... Sounds ugly but I can't deny what I feel... I don't like this role... I want to be the mother of a child if she had to go through what Cara did will find the right people to help her and live happily ever after... No drama... Great! And you know something else that hurts... I didn't realize how much I had before she died... How lucky I was... Anyway I just wanted to share my thoughts... I find that when others share even the negative feelings I am helped because I am not alone... and I wanted to do the same for you... Hugs Elissa
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((((Elissa)))) You make perfect sense to me and your reaction to the Julia Roberts tribute is something I totally understand. I don\'t want this role either. Don\'t want the life, the role, the condolences, none of it...just want my baby back and the way it was. I still wait for someone to yell \"stop film!\" and end this, yet it never happens...if only it could. Love you.
Elissa, I understand.
Elissa I really understand where your at. I am feeling the exact same things right now. I have been getting depressed lately and I was talking to a friend of mine and she put it into perspective a bit for me (not all the way though) - She said to me God does not burden you with more than you can take. So I take comfort in this. Please take care of yourself.
Lots of love and huge hugs
Roz.
Elissa, I get it. I too understand and agree. Lots of hugs, jake\'s mom, kathy
I AM WITH YOU ON THIS ONE HOW CAN THEY EVER UNDERSTAD THEY CAN;T LOVE JODY
Elissa,
I don\'t want this role and I don\'t want any of us in this role...and here we are.Now what???We have so many choices to make do we stay angry, depressed,resentful...do we chose to move forward, do we dare smile or laugh??? I think we do all of those things and let\'s pray that the laughter and smiles come back to us naturally one of these days.Hugs, Inga
Elissa, venting your feelings helps us that can\'t put them into words look at things a little differently, or maybe define what we\'re feeling a little better. Thank you, I pray every day that no more children go to heaven, just so that their families don\'t get to know our pain and despair. I know its an unattainable prayer, yet, if you never ask you shall never receive. My love and hugs, Lynette ~ Matthews mom
SO BEGINS THE ROLLER COASTER AGAIN, BOY ONE DAY I\'M GONNA BUY THAT CARNY SOME HEARING AIDES. MAYBE THEN HE\'LL HEAR US ALL SCREAMING AT HIM TO LET US OFF ONCE AND FOR ALL.