First I want to say that if you don't want to read about the Christian faith... which is my faith... not because I think mine is necessarily the only or the right way... although I think it is for me... its what I lean on... anyway you might not want to read this journal... because this is about my faith...  A friend had shared a site with me... and I do find it encouraging... I think the guys a good speaker... but I'd like it better if he broke it up a bit... *Smile*  but I wanted to share some thoughts and what I wrote as I wrote it... and if it brings you a moments respite that's my reason for sharing...   I am listening to that site you mentioned... valenciahill.com/logan so I may write this slower as I pause to listen with special interest to a portion... I haven't come to the part yet where he speaks of faith as a little child... I do agree with that though... I remember when a visiting priest spoke of that some time back and I thought how right that was... for us to just let go and have faith as a little child... stop worrying about "proving" that is faith... and when we can its such a gift... I don't know where this guy is from but his voice reminds me of my brother who lives in Georgia... He's lived in Georgia for so long he's picked up a Georgian way of speaking... this is like several sermons in one... at first he was speaking more or less of the principle of manna upon the waters... the more you give the more you receive... interestingly enough studies often support biblical teachings... I recently watched a documentary in which the basic tenet of the program was that people who give have greater satisfaction in their lives... and then he was speaking about expect what you give as in mercy... and me I applied it to forgive us our trespasses as we... at this point in the Our Father I always ask for mercy because I don't think I forgive trespasses very well... then of course the phone call from the little boy named Logan... I have a poem that makes me cry with sadness and relief.. about a woman praying to God about how bad she hurt because she had lost her child... and God says he understands... His child died too... I like the poem but I still know that even though some people might not understand it takes time.... lots of time to heal even a bit... and I think God knows that too... Anyway its truly good that you're feeling better... I do think there's more healing in God than in anything else. I hope you'll continue the therapy too. Its a place to vent and to examine... to renew and gain strength to continue on... It may never be easy... but it is doable... Hugs ElissaBy the way... going and listening has brought some peace to me today and so its not hard to put on a green smiley... Its not always easy and it won't be... but for this moment.. I feel blessed.