I know I probably write it too much...somehow though I have to write again and again... Who was Cara....

In Cara's eyes I see so much of her... I see the fear that underlined so much of her... she was never confident and behind almost everything she ever did was the fear that she wouldn't be liked... and I don't understand it...because to me she was beautiful... and smart and tender and loving and fun...  like I told someone once... to be loved by Cara was like being bathed in sunshine... That's as close as I can get to how I felt... when she wasn't there the day was not quite as bright... like the sun wasn't shining quite as bright that day although you were in direct sunlight still there was a shadow...

Also in her eyes I see the tenderness that was as much a part of her as breathing...  and the humor... she could be marvelous fun...  I miss her so awfully much...  I keep reminding myself how lucky I was that she was a part of my life even for awhile... and I know the demons had come out and were destroying her so I should be grateful her pain is over... and sometimes I am... but sometimes I just miss her...