When ihart mentioned that she was drinking coffee and all of a sudden her son popped into her head and she started crying... I know so well what she means... It makes me a little crazy to think that things are such that thoughts of Cara have me running because I can't deal with the pain... I want to remember her... that's all I have left... but I am at a point now where sometimes I shy away from memories... I can't function... and some days are worse than others... I'm not saying one thing we haven't all felt... I don't know whether to be sad or mad or what... I'm tired... So we're about to hit the happy one year mark.... and the day after... it will all be better? NO and I know it... so I wish the calendar would go away... Again no icon for sad... oh well bad is true too...
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I think I am sad, mad, and extremely tired. Will be thinking of you at that one year mark. All we can do is hold onto those beautiful memories...and let the tears fall...let them soothe and cleanse our aching hearts. big hugs! Love, lana
I don\'t like the calender thing either. Unfortunately society gages life and in our cases death according to the calender. Since we live in a world where we somehow need to contribute I feel the need to try and be socially correct, @ least in public. it is hard getting through the day when I am @ work and I have to struggle not to think about my son and how I feel, so that I can make it through the day without people thinking I need to be in a mental institution.
Maybe that is why I don\'t like leaving the house when I don\'t have to because I can do and be anything I want.
Today I will force myself to leave my house and sign up @ the rec center so that I can shed those unwanted pounds ,that have found a home on the area I sit on.
I will be thinking of you on your first year angel anniversary. Not an easy day or week. Hugs, Inga
I have to agree with everyone. I hate, hate, hate, the calendar anymore. Before Wayman and all this mess I liked the calendar. It was something that I could look forward to all the time. Now I have nothing. I feel so guilty sometimes just staying in the house yet this computer and my new found friends are all I look forward too. Have a nice day.
((((Elissa)))) The calendar is not my friend either but it isn\'t as important now as it was in the beginning...and the memories of my son don\'t bring the sudden tears as they used to. No, it won\'t be better after the one year mark...but it changes as do we. Love you.