Well... they suggested we list the things we remember... and they suggested using the letters of the alphabet... and most everyone sent in this one sentence per letter list... but you know me... I go crazy... in the middle of the night... and lots of other times too..... *Smile*    I Don't Want to Forget A is for Angel... Cara was, is and always will be my special Angel... I used to sing that song to her... You are my special angel... Cara you still are mama's angel... B is for Bed... Bottle... Baby.... When Cara was a baby and she'd get tired and cranky... I'd go to get her bedtime bottle and her daddy would start chanting and laughing with her... "Bed... bottle... baby.... The fun in both their eyes... I definitely don't want to forget... C is for her name.... Cara... She was named after my mother... her grandmother whom she dearly loves and who was waiting for her when she passed over... I don't think there's any danger of me forgetting Cara's name... I just like to say it... whenever I say it or write it I almost see her... feel her... smell her... Ahhhhh I have to cheat.... another one for the letter C... C is for cuddle bum... I called her my cuddle bum... She loved to be held and I loved to hold her... and one more for the letter C C is for Comforter.... She was my comforter before she could talk plain... I will never forget once when she was about 18 months old I was holding her... After all these years I don't remember what I was sad about... that's not even what's important... what I do remember is her tiny little hand patting my shoulder to comfort me... I hadn't even realized she knew I was sad... Cara still comforts me... She has come to me several times and I am so grateful for the love that lives yet... Cara also comforted others... When my mother felt sad she could often talk easier to Cara than to me... Cara had a knack for caring and comforting... D is for Driver's license.... The evening after she got her driver's license we let her take the truck to work... I teased her that I couldn't sleep till she got home... I told her that I didn't know if I was more worried about the truck or her.... We laughed.... we always laughed... E is for Eyes.... Her eyes changed colors... they tended toward blue... but they were a grayish color that took on the hue of her makeup or clothing.... Her eyes were beautiful... Cara you are beautiful... In all my memories you are beautiful beyond compare.... F is for Fun... We had so much fun.... I remember how you used to tease me about going with you to a male dance club... I wish I'd gone... just to have another memory... Just thinking about how we used to laugh and tease each other is making me smile... Cara was a blond and I used to tease her with blond jokes I got from various sources... When other people would tease her she'd laugh and tell them she probably knew more blond jokes than they did because her mom collected blond jokes... G is for Grandma..... How much you loved her and how much she loved you.... Your Grandma always said how much she loved it when you came to bathe her... You were so warm and natural... You'd clean her up and crawl up on the bed even as a full grown adult... you'd curl up beside her and you made her feel so special.... G is for Giving.... Cara was giving... of herself and of gifts. Thank You Cara for being such a loving giving person... H is for heaven.... Heaven is where Cara is now... whether she's here checking on me or her babies, brother or other family she's in heaven and she brings a bit of heaven with her... I is for ice cream... I'll never eat butter pecan ice cream that I don't think of Cara.... My girl was fond of her sweets... I smile remembering her pleasure... J is for John..... John is Cara's brother.... She loved him dearly..... She spoiled him rotten and he loved it.... It was a pleasure to see them together.... There is a picture of her dancing with her brother at his wedding on her memorial page... (as well as several other pictures at various ages...) That is one of my favorite pictures of both of them.... Her love and pride and joy are all there in that picture.... K is for kitten.... We usually had a cat around.... I've got a picture of Cara and John with out cat Frosty and the memory makes me smile... Nothing quite like a kitten to make you feel all warm and fuzzy.... sneaking one more in for K K is for Kitchen... Cara could cook a full meal by the time she was 10... We always enjoyed working in the kitchen together... I'm never going to cook etouffe that I don't think of Cara... On Tuesday I came home from work with some shrimp one of my boss' friends had sold us... To be blunt they were tiny... and I was furious... but we're not people to waste... so Cara and I peeled them and put the rest up in the freezer... I made an etouffe.... well I thought "I" made it... anyway so we're eating the etouffe for supper... and it was good... it was really good... I kept talking about how good it was... It was hot but I liked it hot... I've always been a bit nervous about adding seasoning to foods for fear I'd make it too hot... not Cara... with the youth and confidence of the young hey... watch out... *Smile* So anyway after we'd eaten about half of our supper Cara asked me with a smile... So you're glad I made that little trip to the kitchen then mama??? Huh??? I looked at her and the smile stretched into a grin... (just like mine is as I remember... ) She said mama I had to do something... It was bland!!! So I realized that "I" had a bit of help making that etouffe... and I was and am glad for it... Now when I pick up the cayenne pepper I tell Cara to bump my elbow a bit but not too hard... L is for love.... Cara always made me feel loved... L is for Light and Laughter.... There was a time Cara laughed and smiled and her laugh and smile were brighter than the brightest light... She was like a warm sun... filling up every corner of the room and all the people around her with light and laughter.... M is for Mother.... Cara has 3 babies of her own... I remember the first time I saw her and Ben taking care of little T'Ben... Oh she was a proud mother.... Everything had to be just so... I have other pictures of her holding and loving her babies... She was trying so hard to get her life back together and what she wanted most of all was to get well so she could be a good mother to her babies.... Where ever she fell short... she never stopped loving them... and she loves them still... and always will.... N is for Never.... Never will I not love you Cara and never did you not love me... I remember when I came to visit you at the hospital and you were mad at me... but still you wanted to be near your mama... so you sat with your back to me... but you were right against my side... I felt your longing to not be mad... it was a bad time baby but we made it... P is for party... In 1989 we bought a house... Shortly after moving in Cara and John talked me into letting them give a party in our new home... They were supposed to invite about 10 guests each.... John was shy and only had 3 or 4 friends of his own he wanted to invite so he asked if Cara could invite a few more friends to use up the invites he didn't particularly care about... John always liked Cara's friends anyway... (He was very fond of her girlfriends... *Smile*) Anyway I said ok.... next thing I know Cara had invited around 50 kids... I don't know how we managed it... but somehow we did... The house was full of kids... It was a great party Q is for quickness Quick of mind and spirit.... It was wonderful to talk and share thoughts with you... You were always quick to laugh... sometimes to anger.... to cry.... to forgive.... and to love.... R is for Rings and things.... My baby loved pretty things... She had pretty hands..... I remember her hands and her rings.... S is for Smiles.... Cara had the prettiest smile.... S is for Little Miss Sunshine.... Cara went to school for the first three years at Elk Creek Elementary where they called her Little Miss Sunshine... she truly was like sunshine... T is for Touch.... Cara understood the power of a loving touch... An arm around your shoulder... or a bit of a neck rub... I used to tell her she should consider physical therapy as an occupation... She had a special touch.... U is for Understanding... Cara was the person who many of her friends went to when they needed someone to talk to... I still laugh when I think about her "lecture" to her friend Amanda... Cara had a bad habit of not eating when she was upset... and as a teen there were several times when she really had me worried... She had the doctor so worried he told her that if she didn't gain 5 pounds by the next visit he was going to put her in the hospital with a feeding tube... I nagged and worried... One morning Cara was really sick... she hadn't eaten in about 3 days... I'm ashamed to say I'd been working and just hadn't noticed... I had cooked meals but the kids often warmed up the food when they came in from their after school activities... So anyway she felt very nauseated and weaky... I fixed some soft scrambled eggs and toast for her... All day long I fixed her food to tempt her but that wasn't spicy or too heavy.... and she'd eat a bit... a little later I was there nagging her to just eat a bit of this or that... So she was feeling much better and she really did get it that she couldn't/shouldn't not eat.... It was a good day really... I honestly enjoyed loving and taking care of my baby... and lots of times she was so busy... and so was I... We talked a lot that day.... Anyway Amanda was doing the same thing... she and Cara were talking and I heard Cara telling Amanda more or less the same things I'd been telling her for so long... about the importance of eating even when you're upset and all that... I was amused... but gratified to know my baby had been listening even though it took her so long to "get" it... V is for Vibrancies.... Cara was vibrant.... her looks... her personality... the energy and passion she put into things... The Saturday night before she died Monday morning.... she looked younger, more beautiful, and vibrant then I had seen her in some time... I really thought maybe we were making the turn around... I could change the letter i to if only.... but that's not going to help her or me as she has bluntly told me.... "don't dwell on the bad things mama... it doesn't help you or me...." W is for Wisdom One time when Cara was around 15 she and I were having a pretty bad argument.... again who remembers what it was about... who cares... not me... what I do remember is that I was really mad and saying things I can't remember exactly but they were ugly I am ashamed to admit.... Suddenly Cara looked at me so serious and she said, "Mama, why do you say those things... I know you love me..." I was impressed then by her wisdom and I'm still impressed... I'm also grateful that she knew I always loved her..... Someday I may come back and add an X,Y, Z... but right now I can't think of any and I don't want to make anything up just to fit... I have enjoyed this activity and I want to keep it enjoyable... I know I've written a lot.... If you read all or part of it.... I hope you feel like you know my baby better.... Like all of you.... I want people to know how special Cara is.... I should have included P is for Proud... I'm Proud to be Cara's Mom...