I'm late... I'm backwards... I'm behind and upside down... I am trying to catch up... I'm thinking as always... Will be back in a bit to share some thoughts and see what my friends have been thinking about and what trouble you've been getting into... Anyway wanted to share a prayer with yall... for our loved ones to let us know they are with us... A PRAYER TO OUR LOVED ONES When we can sense your presence it eases our pain. It brings you near to us once again. Touch us please often... So I came back... To share some more thoughts... I'm too fierce in my love for Cara to let anyone tell me that because of her problems I shouldn't mourn her... I know for a fact though as a mother of a child who's death was surrounded with issues of mental illness and substance abuse that there are people who think she got just what she deserved. My son and I talked about this at length. We talked about how sad we were that people would judge Cara... We decided that we knew Cara. We knew what a wonderful, loving, light up the room kind of person she was. So our sympathies go out to all who weren't lucky enough to know Cara as we were. Like another mama said... "to others he may be just another child.... to me... he was my whole world..." I really felt and understood that... I think we all do... (Forgive me its probably not right word for word... I'm really good at misquoting... ) I talk about the issues surrounding Cara's death because I want to provide support for parents who like myself have been inclined to feel bad about what their child did. It hasn't been easy to make a decision to speak out. I love my child and I refuse to feel any shame.... any anger at her... Cara has visited me on several occasions... she frankly told me that she made some bad choices. She knows it and accepts it. I also believe that we aren't doing enough for our lost children... that's what I call them... Understanding and treatment are needed. My dream.... is to see parents united in working for their children... I liken what that would be like to something like AARP... its one of the largest lobbying groups in our country... and they do have an impact on legislation that affects the elderly... I'd like to see Parents United For Children... This is my soap box... We all have things we'd like to see changed... Me too.... I haven't given up yall... just had to step back... but I won't quit... Anyhoo... on to other things.... Did anybody see the article on the piglets they cloned... Did your mind wander even momentarily to the... if onlys.... mine did... and yet... I recognized... Cara is more than a combination of DNA proteins and neucleotides.... she was who she was because of all the interactions and experiences of her life... many of which I'm lucky to have been a part of... There is no replicating.... but for a moment... I wondered..... Since I've decided it would be too selfish for me to demand she come back from heaven... even if it were in my power... its only human to consider other ideas... Honestly... I think these thoughts... and the more reasonable thoughts that follow are signs of healing... so that's why I shared them... Ok... gone to read journals... Hugs Elissa
Replies
hugs my sweet, elissa! love you! ~ charlayne
(((Elissa))) beautiful prayer, thank you...love you!
Thank you Elissa what a beautiful prayer.
Love to you
Roz.
Thanks Elissa. I wish they would touch us often. Lots of hugs, jake\'s mom, kathy
What a beautiful prayer Elissa! They were and still are the world to us.
In faith, hope and love. Pam
cloning...yes, i thought about just after he was killed, i did...for a moment...maybe i still do at times but it would not be him because as you say it\'s the interactions and experiences that make them who they are. so you are not alone in your wondering.
Cloneing was a thought I also entertained. You know I would love any child but one that looked like Timmy with Timmy\'s personality and smile.....the possibilities are staggering....then I realized....I would hover, I would overprotect...I would allow nature to overcome nurture and this child would be nothing like the independent, devilish, happy go lucky child I long to hold. It would be my fault because I could never do it exactly the same way and it wouldn\'t only be me it would be everyone who ever knew him that would hover and overprotect. He would become the boy in the bubble.
Sooooo, knowing he is with Adam and Cara and has Molly to cuddle and Pat, Jan and Mama to spoil him...somehow I think he made out in the deal. Love Ya, kathy
Did I ever tell you his favorite expression was \"Holy Shit\"? I don\'t know where he heard it but I could never stop him from saying it. I would say :are you going to say that again? and he would look at me and say...Yes. He was so darn cute...and he never did learn to lie.
My friend Like I told you a few weeks ago.. I do believe CaraIs here guiding us to help others.. I know her time spent on this earth was not in vain.Much much Love Diane
Funny...I thought about the cloning thing too. I really just wanted a baby from her. I talked to her about that before she died. I asked her if she would have a child for me (because she didn\'t want any). She responded...\"Oh mother! You would mess up that child!\" and I responeded back \"I raised you didn\'t I?\" and we both laughed! What I wouldnt give to have her back but you are right...she is so much happier in heaven! Love, lana