I've had problems with the need for approval and validation as long as I can remember..  Ms Francis told me that serious grief can bring up all the old stuff and its true.  Losing my job on top of everything else just about did me in... I've been afraid to move for fear something else would break...  I'm telling you all these things so if you're having some of the same problems maybe you won't feel so alone.  It was very helpful for me recently to read a friends message where she talked about how this happened to her.  She's got a new job now and she's getting back on the horse so to speak.... and I'm working on getting there too.  Just a month ago I still didn't want to try.  I didn't want to be "of use" to the world, because I didn't want to care... I have moments now of feeling like maybe I can pick myself up again... but they are fragile... I have to be grateful for the moments of respite... . its still hard not to want to keep myself out of the stress zones of throwing myself against the fences... job hunting... taking care of my health... just accepting that its ok to want to live... when so often I think I can't stand living... but those are the thoughts I have to fight and I'm lucky that I recognize that I... me myself I... have to do it... No one else can do it for me... I know these lessons... I've applied them for years... but here of late... I've really wanted to quit... just not to face it... so I'm weak, shaky and scared... but I'm working on it... Thanks for your help and support... Hugs Elissa