To my daughter Cara... I'm not ashamed of you and I'm not angry with you... I'm proud of you and I love you for always. I miss your earthly presence... I'm grateful for your spirit presence... its not the same... but its a whole lot better than never having had you in my life at all... You were light and love to me... I miss you Cara... your earthly presence... I Love You For Always...<> I am not overwhelmed with grief to write this... I just want my friends and most of all my daughter Cara to know once again how much I love her.I was just thinking... I wonder if yall see Cara and feel a touch of tenderness for her as I do for your children as their sweet faces and the stories you have shared come to mind... I bet you do... We aren't forgetting them... They are very alive for us... your children for me... and my child for you... The stories we share... I feel often I know the other members of your family too... Like Kaydeedid's son... the poor boy she hung on the clothes line... she didn't really yall... it was photo shop stuff... LOL He's never going to have kids... hmmmmmm maybe he's heard that old saw about payback and he's scared... Its okay... no matter what they do... you'll be just like your mom... you forgive them everything... and Tarah who likes oatmeal cookies for breakfast instead of a bowl of oatmeal... Janine has shared Molly and P and Chin with us.... Youngmother shared Julilyn... oh the list goes on and on... I'm thinking of Lisa and Jackie... Mischel and her 6 kids... oh boy does she have fun or what... Katmac she does the art work... and my friend Stellarstarz she's good at photo shop too... There's a lot of really great people here... We share our pain... hey... some good too... I think its sandart who just moved to S Carolina and found out about red ants.... ouch... I love yall... So I had to come back and add something... A friend who's birthday is on the same day Cara passed... (I have such a hard time figuring out what word to use... She died... but she didn't... she passed... but she's here... oh well... I imagine yall have the same struggle...) anyway... she kindly promised to remember Cara always on her birthday... and I'm grateful... I absolutely hate the idea that people might forget her... so I wrote this and I wanted to share it and ask the same thing of you... when you remember Cara... I hope you'll see a young woman who truly brought light into a room... who was one of the sweetest most loving people I've ever been privileged to know... And another great thing about her... she wasn't the kind of person to have to have things just so... she was the kind of person who knew that her touch meant something... who wasn't afraid to touch and love and comfort the aged, the ill, the dying... That's only part of who Cara was... She truly was special... My son is supposed to email me a copy of a picture that I want to share with yall of Cara... I'd just gotten in recent years to where I didn't take a lot of pictures... but this picture is so much like she was the Saturday before she passed... and I want yall to see it... Even then its not as pretty as I saw her... but none could be... as the song says... I see her in a different light... To me she was light... I have lots of love in my life... but there was something about Cara I can't describe... I am lucky...
Replies
oh sweetie, if you only knew! i feel like your Cara has become mine as well as all of the children i have been granted the honor of glimpsing at their lives thru their mom\'s eyes. i talk about \"our children\" and us moms. funny, i never thought about that till now. i love you! ~~ charlayne
so sorry you have been having it so bad lately . but glad to run across your add . long time no see . love a old friend
fire aunts and yes i mean aunts as i have 9 of them and they can be very firey at times. zane doesn\'t want kids because he thinks the world isn\'t going to be a good place to raise children in. can\'t say i blame him and ultimately it his and whoever he marries choice but he does seem to be looking for a girl who feels the same. so..... we\'ll just have to see.
yes elissa i talk to my kids and silver about the things you all have been through and i remind them that stories like yours, katies and kathy\'s and who ever else i didn\'t mention that have had there children die are the stories that make me realize that these aweful things have happened to your children, therefor they could happen to mine. i want them to understand why i\'m protective and want to know where they are and when they\'re coming home. yes they\'re soon to be 22 and 20 but they live here and their daddy and i just need to know. we are all so blessed to have eachother here we have enriched eachothers lives in ways that i could never say thankyou enough for. we\'ve had some crazy fun around here and some crazy tears too, but we have these times together and that\'s what is great. we have learned so much from eachother that it seems our teaching god doesn\'t come around too much now days, but we know she\'ll be back as she is busy in the yard. maybe she\'s planted new rodies on the plantation. at this time our kathy is investing time in her grandchildren enjoying the people they\'ve become as all grams should do. lisa, well she embarking on new and wonderful things and zach is on board, we\'re hoping she gets a new job she loves and her ss. katiedid, might be in the pit today and on the fainting couch tomorrow or in her boat during the storm but she has every right to be where ever she wants to be when ever she wants to be.. and nichole well my goodness girl you\'re up there with our kathy with 6 kids wow! i just love you all and am thankful for you and our loved ones who are in heaven now, i just somehow know that they brought us all here to help eachother through lifes inevitable changes.. (((people live and people die, the ones that die leave behind the ones who have to learn to deal with our loss))) and thus here we are!!all together!! trying to get through each day the best we can!! love to you all! love kimmie dee ((oh yea! elissa the answer to your question is, absolutely! we do think of you and your cara as much as you think of us and ours!!!))love ya!*k
i would like to say i enjoyed your journal today. My birthday too is on the day that Khillman\'s son Jake passed and for whatever reason I feel such a kinship with her and Jake will never be forgotten. We all get through this the best we can. That is all we can do. Read the next journal i write cause i hope to have something nice in it for everyone. Lorab Wayman\'s ma
Oh I would love to see the picture. :)
Elissa I can see Cara in bare feet running through the grass laughing and flying a kite with Timmy. I can see Adam leaning on the fence laughing and very proud that the kite that he made flies so high. I can see Mama leaning out the window enjoying the frenzy of Molly and Mae and Figaro trying so hard to compete with the big yellow kite. The smell of Mama\'s Candied Apples has Pat and Jan rushing to lay out plates and spoons. Yep Elissa I love them all...all our loved ones. Love Ya, Kathy
Elissa, I would be honored if you would allow me to print Cara\'s picture out once you post it and put it with the candle I light on my birthday. Her and my BJ can help me blow the ever increasing number of candles out each year... All my love (smiling now and not needing the paper towels!! ) Karen
I want to thank you all for your comments... I\'m going to go spend some time with Richard... he\'s home from band practice and feeling neglected... Nigh Nigh Hugs Elissa
ELISSA, YOU HAVE SHARED SO MUCH OF CARA!!!!!! I DEFINATELY FEEL LIKE I KNOW HER TOO. JOB WELL DONE MOM, CARA WOULD BE VERY PROUD!!!!!!!!!! ALL MY LOVE AND PARAYERS!!!!!!!!! ((((((((HUGS)))))))) LISA
I cant wait to see her picture! Tell him to hurry up! I wish u had a million pictures. I truly feel like I know the person better after seeing pictures!!! Thank You for mentioning me in your journal. You are such a good person. I think Cara was very lucky to have YOU her whole life. What could have been better for her during her life? You are always in my heart and prayers!!! Love ya, Nichole