A Love Without End, There's a song I've been hearing a lot lately... A Love Without End.... The chorus (incomplete) Let me tell you something about a father's love... something that my daddy said was just between us... Daddies don't just love their children every now and then... Its a love without end.. amen... Obviously my heart inserts the word mother or mama... and I hope that Cara hears me... Several of you have lost your children to substance abuse and mental illness just as I did... and maybe you've worried like me that your child would ever think that you were angry or disappointed in them... a lady even gave me a book after Cara died titled "Fogiving Your Adult Children" I said it then and I say it now for Cara and for all the world... the book had no meaning for me... I never had to forgive my child for I never blamed her... I hurt because I couldn't fix it for her... and I still do... but I never blamed you Cara... and I love you for always... without end... Rereading what I wrote and thinking about it... once again I'm so grateful for what I have had... Yes I wish it were different... but its not... and no matter what... I'm so grateful for the love that is a part of my life and that continues to be a part of my life and that includes my love for Cara and hers for me... Thank you my baby... I received a gift that I consider very special in the mail Wednesday... It was a copy of the book I'll Love You Forever (that I had mistakenly thought was I'll Love You For Always.. I'm not worried about my mistake... it makes my words more particularly my own baby...) anyway Robert Munsch sent me that book and wrote inside To Elissa in memory of Cara Lee Parks Buras.... Its something I'm grateful for... Just like the other moms I want to keep your memory alive... It doesn't matter how in the grand scheme of things we're just another small minnow baby girl... The love we share in families is what really counts... and we had/have that... I had my angiogram yesterday. No major blockage nor heart damage. Probably a bit of plaque from a major artery broke loose and was swept into a smaller vessel where it blocked the passage and caused a minor heart attack. That is what put me in the hospital for five days a little over a week ago. The doctor is encouraged that the plaque can be decreased with medicine and lifestyle changes. Hugs to all and my hopes and prayers that today we'll find some peace. Elissa
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So glad you are back and on your feet again!!
Oh, my goodness! I hope the med. will work.Sounds serious to me.
I know that song, by Randy Travis. Glad your out of the hosp.
Love and hugs- Take care of yourself...
Oh good. Im glad your health issue is not as major as it could be. I need you in my life. I am in a sad funk the last couple days. Feeling very alone, missing Chelsea dearly. August will be 14 years, and I cant believe it. Sometimes I feel like I never really had her, and other times I feel like I just lost her and my heart hurts. Will has been tired, burnt out of work, cold, and distant. He knows Im hurt, but just gets defensive and says all I do is bitch. So we are worlds apart and I feel very very lonely. The love I had with Chelsea was a love like no other. We were so close, and loved each other so much. She couldn\'t believe I could tell my mom or any counselor what she felt without her even telling me. She used to say \"Ask Nico (my nickname in the family, short for Nichole), she knows exactly how I feel without me saying it.\" And I DIDF! Cuz we were so much alike. I am craving a mans arms around me, loving me, and making me feel so special and safe. But I can\'t even look at Will without wanting to punch him out. He was always the ONLY one who knew me and understood me. I think he sees me as fat and pregnant, and has no desire.
Anyway, I know how u feel about Cara and there being NOTHING TO FORGIVE! You love her soooo much. And you understand it wasn\'t her, it was the asshoe substances that had her so tight in their grasp. I am so angry at drugs and acohol. They ruin everyone, and take so many lives. I will be praying for you. I feel like u r whereever u r, feeling the very same as me, sitting here on my comp. I wish I could spend time with you and Cars kids. How are they doing, by the way? Do you see them a lot? I love you, Nichole
((((Elissa)))) Glad your test showed no major damage, but that \"minor\" heart attack is still pretty darn scary. I haven\'t heard this song but it speaks to me, thank you for sharing it. Take good care of my friend Elissa! ((((Love & Hugs))))
Do whatever the Doc says to take care of yourself!!
Do whatever the Doc says to take care of yourself!!