A new day...  Do you ever feel like you should wake up and fearfully poke your head up over the edge of the fox hole to see if there are any guns pointed your way... now to our service people in real fox holes or similar fortifications... my apologies...  I don't have any real guns pointed at me that I know of... but I'm speaking allegorically... or is it metaphorically... or just playing with words... or some of all of the above......  anyway....  nothing too heavy on my mind at the moment...  but that as yall know can change in a heart beat....  I wish I knew why I'm so easily thrown right now.... Things aren't particularly better or worse... and perhaps that's the problem... did I think that if I cried hard enough God would take it all back... yeah right....  Just got to hang on...  it will pass... 

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deleted_user
deleted_user

((((Elissa)))) Why right now? I do not know why it is worse at some points than it is at others. I do recall that from the 8 or 9 month mark to the 1 year sadiversarry it was more difficult for me. It seemed that the 9th month was so hard because I related that to how long I had carried my child during pregnancy...how could he now be gone from me for that long...for as long as I had kept him safely before his birth. Wishing you moments of peace...wishing it were all different. Love you.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Hang in there Elissa..... take care of yourself please! ((((((hugs)))))
deleted_user
deleted_user

THANKS FOR THE JOURNAL COMMENT ELISSA, I DIDN\'T CATCH MICHEAL MOORE\'S WEB PADE ADDRESS DID YOU HAPPEN TO CATCH IT? I GUESS I\'LL GO LOOK AROUND BUT IN THE MEAN TIME IF YOU THINK OF IT WILL YOU SEND IT TO ME?
AT TIMES I THINK IT HAS PASSED AND AT OTHERS I FEAR IT NEVER WILL, AND THAT\'S WHY I CARRY A BOAT AROUND ON MY BACK SO WHEN THE STORMS COME I\'M SOMEWHAT PREPARED... LOVE YA, *K
deleted_user
deleted_user

I have learned to throw breadcrumbs out of the fox hole. The problem is there are these squirles.... However...life tends to draw me out and I tra la tra la along when all of a sudden BAM! One of the kids get sick and I panic or one of the girls is waiting on the result of a test and I panic. Or Bill has two beers instead of one and I panic. Now you have to understand...I have always been very calm and reasonable with everyone else in my life except my kids or grandkids....I have become a screamer! The things I yell are not very helpful....you know things like Don\'t look at me in that tone of voice! Or, you\'ll see missy just you wait! What the heck does that mean? Of course I know I should approach things from a more possitive perspective or even be logical however I have decided I have been reasonable enough in my life so its time to yell before I have to and to express my worry and apply as much guilt as possible. Consider it my combat helmut. It might not amount to much on the Freudian Scale but it does earn me a cup of tea and a piece of toast and quiet explanations. Sigh!
deleted_user
deleted_user

I WISH I WASN\'T SO BLAH MYSELF SO I COULD GIVE YOU SOME WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT. I\'M THINKING IT MIGHT BE THE HOLIDAY, BUT ONE THING IS FOR SURE. IT WILL PASS!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THAT IS WHAT WE NEED TO HOLD ONTO. ALL MY LOVE AND PRAYERS!!!!!!! (((((((((((HUGS))))))))))) LISA