First I want to thank you all so much for reading and responding... anyone got any ideas how to start a movement that says put our children first... I don't care if we never get to Mars... I'm not interested in all these advisory and investagatory committees... I don't want to support people who take the money meant for helping people and divert it to their own pockets... All of these people spending millions of dollars to get elected... do you think they don't intend to get every dime of it back and more... and yet... I have no idea how to change it... except to keep balling up our fists and beating on doors... how can we do that... by writing letters to our reps... making it clear that we are going to band together and that we will vote... and that if their needs and concerns aren't ours... we won't be voting for them... This is not a bad way to force the issue... If our concerns and needs don't affect many people... we won't get support... Does anyone reading this today... not know anyone who's been affected by substance addiction... I knew them long before my own child died... felt bad about them... and did nothing...
On a different tack... as I weave my sailboat across this vast ocean... *Smile*
at one point in my life my eyes were constantly tearing up... and it was embarassing... I got to where I wore sunglasses all the time... but if I got caught without them and my eyes started tearing up I would lie and say I had an eye condition that caused that... I didn't want people to know I was so down on myself that I was uncomfortable and embarassed when people talked to me... I worried about everything... and then I attempted suicide... got real close... ended up in the hospital and realized... that as much as I feared how much people talked me down... I had never thought they wanted to kill me... I kept thinking to myself... that I had wanted to do worse to myself than any of my fears of how people didn't like me etc etc etc... yeah we all have complexes... I don't know how to cure them... but I have found that I can lessen suicidal thoughts by acknowledging that I feed them... therefore go there or not... its my choice... that's a rough thing to accept... on the flip do I say I'm nothing but a weak ass crybaby... perhaps... but I've learned to forgive myself for that too... I'm telling you all this not because I'm asking for sympathy... or because I'm unaware of the fact that many people find my refusal to hide what I think and feel discomforting... but because I want you to know... I do understand a lot of crap... I use that word on purpose... to me we go through a lot of it... a lot of it is self inflicted... and plenty of it comes from our fellow man... but in the end... what matters... is seeing that there's a rose growing in that pile of manure... There's a sun shining... or rain is falling and the world smells fresh and clean... in other words... its all too obvious... I'm looking for the sunny side of the street... and I want to encourage others to join me there... Hugs Elissa
On a different tack... as I weave my sailboat across this vast ocean... *Smile*
at one point in my life my eyes were constantly tearing up... and it was embarassing... I got to where I wore sunglasses all the time... but if I got caught without them and my eyes started tearing up I would lie and say I had an eye condition that caused that... I didn't want people to know I was so down on myself that I was uncomfortable and embarassed when people talked to me... I worried about everything... and then I attempted suicide... got real close... ended up in the hospital and realized... that as much as I feared how much people talked me down... I had never thought they wanted to kill me... I kept thinking to myself... that I had wanted to do worse to myself than any of my fears of how people didn't like me etc etc etc... yeah we all have complexes... I don't know how to cure them... but I have found that I can lessen suicidal thoughts by acknowledging that I feed them... therefore go there or not... its my choice... that's a rough thing to accept... on the flip do I say I'm nothing but a weak ass crybaby... perhaps... but I've learned to forgive myself for that too... I'm telling you all this not because I'm asking for sympathy... or because I'm unaware of the fact that many people find my refusal to hide what I think and feel discomforting... but because I want you to know... I do understand a lot of crap... I use that word on purpose... to me we go through a lot of it... a lot of it is self inflicted... and plenty of it comes from our fellow man... but in the end... what matters... is seeing that there's a rose growing in that pile of manure... There's a sun shining... or rain is falling and the world smells fresh and clean... in other words... its all too obvious... I'm looking for the sunny side of the street... and I want to encourage others to join me there... Hugs Elissa
Replies
I\'ll be there with you. I really care about you, and wish my mom was JUST LIKE CARA\'S MOM! In her passing, she gave you a mission, and I think u r doing a wonderful job at it so far. I will always do what I can towards helping your cause. I only wish I had kknown Cara, and was her friend, and could be there to help her children grow, and know how special their mommy is!!
I agree with MissChels and here for you if you need to talk
just a few thoughts and things that I\'ve done or have been suggested to me...take Cara\'s story to the papers...hard to do but reaches many who do share her story, your story...find your local/county/state drug and alcohol advisory board or task force and get yourself a place on the board or as an advisor or speaker...call every agency that has anything to do with substance abuse or treatment or anything related until you find someone who gives a damn and then share your vision...ask what you can do and where you can do it...put your name out there as an advocate and as a support to other parents going through the same heartache that you and Cara did just as you do here...see...you are already making a difference...we never know how many lives we touch along the way. ((((hugs))))
Oh, Elissa, you aren\'t any different than me. I do that sometimes. The sunglasses thing, I don\'t do because i need my regular glasses to see so, I don\'t usually wear sunglasses that much.
But, the part about the government is true. I feel you are a current day \"Normal Rey\" did you see that movie. It\'s fabulous.
You have the first in your tummy like she did to get things changed.
Maybe you should run for an office?
Love,
Betty