I wrote this as a comment to a friend's journal... but then decided that my rant did not belong there... its a bit more than a comment...
I don't know about whether its fore ordained about our loved one's deaths... I tend to think it is... not because it should be... but because of the way things are... not necessarily that they should be that way... but they are... and therefore... if we think people are dying because of the way things are... although we believe they shouldn't be that way... we need to speak up... I'm going to be as blunt as Janine... I have written numerous times about how Cara wanted help but could not get it... ok so tough luck... BS... I still breathe... so I will still continue to rant... probably won't make one bit of difference... but I'll do it... because I believe I must... but I've gotten very little response... is it me... or is it how people feel... I believe most people think Cara would have died anyway... I don't know... I won't ever get the chance to find out... one number I've heard is that 100,000 people a year are dying due to substance abuse... damn folks if we're gonna let these kids die anyway... send them out first into battle... maybe they'll knock off a few and let the kids behind them who don't want to die live... obviously I don't think this is what we should do... I'm just so angry at all the people who won't do anything... our children... they're the promise of tomorrow... not only my child died... a lot of people are dying... and what do you think will happen to their kids... perhaps we deserve the hell that is coming... I can escape at any moment... I have access to insulin... or I can just shut my door and tell the world to go to hell... and don't think I haven't thought about it... This isn't the place for this... so I'm going to copy it and put it in my own journal... We all have thoughts on a million things... but maybe we agree on one thing... children matter... and remember... not only the person with the addiction problem suffers... we all do...
I don't know about whether its fore ordained about our loved one's deaths... I tend to think it is... not because it should be... but because of the way things are... not necessarily that they should be that way... but they are... and therefore... if we think people are dying because of the way things are... although we believe they shouldn't be that way... we need to speak up... I'm going to be as blunt as Janine... I have written numerous times about how Cara wanted help but could not get it... ok so tough luck... BS... I still breathe... so I will still continue to rant... probably won't make one bit of difference... but I'll do it... because I believe I must... but I've gotten very little response... is it me... or is it how people feel... I believe most people think Cara would have died anyway... I don't know... I won't ever get the chance to find out... one number I've heard is that 100,000 people a year are dying due to substance abuse... damn folks if we're gonna let these kids die anyway... send them out first into battle... maybe they'll knock off a few and let the kids behind them who don't want to die live... obviously I don't think this is what we should do... I'm just so angry at all the people who won't do anything... our children... they're the promise of tomorrow... not only my child died... a lot of people are dying... and what do you think will happen to their kids... perhaps we deserve the hell that is coming... I can escape at any moment... I have access to insulin... or I can just shut my door and tell the world to go to hell... and don't think I haven't thought about it... This isn't the place for this... so I'm going to copy it and put it in my own journal... We all have thoughts on a million things... but maybe we agree on one thing... children matter... and remember... not only the person with the addiction problem suffers... we all do...
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PS I realized today... I need more information about addiction... about recovery resources... I can\'t just keep ranting about Cara and our family... if I really want to help I need information... so if you have information please share it... Thank You Elissa
From a letter to a friend... and now... to you...
So how are you... I know you spend most of your time taking care of us... *Smile*... its not a bad thing... its actually helpful... takes us out of ourselves some... but... can\'t do a thing if we don\'t take care of ourselves too... just think... my voice would be stilled... and I\'m not ready for that yet. Got some more ranting to do... but going to try to find some positive ways to help too... Besides being a cheering section which I do appreciate... don\'t ever forget that the next child to die... may be someone you love... I don\'t say that to hurt anyone... I want people to help... please... Hugs Elissa
It\'s, in my opinion, that so many people don\'t care, don\'t want to hear about it...I called my governor\'s office to try to get some changes in impaired driving laws as my son was killed by a drunk driver...the governor\'s representative told me that I need anger management counseling and that the governor would be voted out of office if he introduced tougher alcohol legislation...voted out of office???...for trying to save the lives of children?...and I should not be angry that my son was brutally slaughtered?...we should all be angry when a child is killed by any means, by any form of substance abuse...so I rant on and I speak out...I make phone calls...lend a shoulder to cry on to other victims...but so many people don\'t want to hear it...keep talking about Cara...find your resources and keep reaching out...we touch some lives and we make some differences along the way...we give our children a voice and we tell their stories. ((((hugs))))
I saw a story not too long ago about a kid who was showing off his new car and speeding away from school. He broadsided a woman and killed her and her child. The boys parents wanted him to testify that the woman passed a yellow light. But he refused to do it. They wanted him to say anything to save himeself. The husband/father of the family killed pursed it. There were security cameras that proved the boy was drag racing. During the trial the husband/father saw that the boy did not like what his defense was saying...he asked to talk to the boy privately. The boy cried...he apologized...he said he deserved whatever he got....which in this case was 10 years in prison. The father/husband went to the high school to talk to the principal. She explained this was a good boy with good grades that tutored kids that could not read. He found it necessary to impress his friends and unfortunately that\'s what happens all over. Well, the father/husband went back to talk to the boy. He asked him if he would be willing to talk to the high school kids and tell them his story. His parents did not want him to but the boy did it including showing pictures of the crash scene. He affected those kids...he affected them big time. The husband/father came back and asked if he would tell his story again to yet another high school. He did. When it came time for the boys sentencing the husband/father asked the judge not to give him prison time. He explained the boy had spoken at 5 high schools and had really made a difference. The judge asked if he was sure. The husband/father was sure. His two sons agreed. To this day the boy who is now 30 still goes all over the country telling his story. He has impacted many lives and who knows how many he has saved. In his private life he teaches Special Children and is well respected and well loved by parents and children alike. This is a true story.
Can one person affect many? Yes! Where do you start?
Elissa, When Shannon was fifteen, her dad and I had split up. She was very good at making me think she was going to school, not doing drugs, not climbing out her window at night when I was asleep. Well, to make a long story short, she was doing all those things. She was covered under insurance then. People bent over backwards to \"help\" her, because we had good insurance. She did a thirty day treatment once. Over the years things got worse and I was still wanting to believe otherwise. Who knows what kind of damage she did to her brain, her liver, alcohol was always a huge problem. She found God less than a year before she died. I can not even begin to count how many times she went to the emergency room with severe headaches, vomiting for no reason, passing out, you name it and she had it. She was a single mom without insurance, so no one cared. I could help her only so much. I could not pay for MRI\'s and all the other things they told her she needed. They would put a band-aid on and send her out the door and tell her to follow up with her own Dr. What Dr.? She could not afford one. I do beat myself up over this one. I never thought she would die. I would have sold everything I own if it would have saved her. The medical care in this country sucks if you do not have insurance. My husband and I have good insurance, a lot of good that did Shannon. She was treated like she didn\'t matter. She hated the way she was treated. It was not just medical care. I saw first hand how the system treats single moms. It did not matter that she did work, she still needed food stamps, she struggled so. I probably spent half my paycheck every week on her and Joey. I am sorry for going on and on, my point is they should have looked further and found out what was going on, why was she so sick all the time. I am her mom, I should have fixed it. I feel just as helpless now as I did then. That week before she died, something was wrong, I heard it in her voice. We were on vacation and she called me asking when were we coming home. She sounded so sad. I wish I could hug and kiss her just one more time...... Your friend Dianne
WHEN I WAS 10 MY UNCLE DICK WAS KILLED ON THANKSGIVING EARLY MORNING BY A CAR LOAD OF DRUNK COLLEGE STUDENTS. HE HAD BEEN OUT OF TOWN ON A JOB AND WAS JUST TRYING TO GET HOME FOR THANKSGIVING. I HAVE NEVER ENJOYED THANKSGIVING SINCE, OH I DO THE COOKING AND STUFF BUT IT COMES BACK TO ME EVERY YEAR HOW HORRIBLY TORN APART WE ALL WERE. THEN 8 YEARS LATER HIS SON MY COUSIN WAS RAN OVER BY A DRUNK DRIVER WHILE TAKING A PEE OFF THE SIDE OF A COUNTRY ROAD, HE WAS BRAIN DEAD AND MY AUNT AND HIS BROTHER AND SISTER HAD TO DECIDE TO TAKE HIM OFF LIFE SUPPORT.. THE PAIN AND ANGER IS STILL THERE, AND ALWAYS WILL BE. I JUST DON\'T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE DON\'T GET IT!!! IF YOU\'RE DRINKING DON\'T DRIVE. MY DAD WAS A BLACK OUT DRUNK BUT HE STILL ALWAYS KNEW NOT TO DRIVE, HE NEVER DID. I DON\'T GET IT..... PERHAPS I NEVER WILL... BUT I\'LL ALWAYS BE ANGRY WITH THOSE WHO DRINK AND DRIVE AND I\'LL ALWAYS MISS UNCLE DICK AND RODNEY, IT WAS NOT THEIR TIME TO GO AND IT WAS NOT FARE. IT LEFT MY AUNT AND COUSINS FEELING THAT THEY HAD DONE SOMETHING TERRIBLY WRONG FOR THE LORD TO ALLOW THAT TO HAPPEN TO THEM TWICE....
ELISSA YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO VENT WHENEVER YOU WANT TO.I HAVE SO MANY FRIENDS WHO HAVE DIED FRO DRUG ADDICTION.MY BEST FRIEND WHO IS 28 IS ADDICTED TO METH&ZANAX.SHE HAS BEEN TO JAIL SEVERAL TIMES AND EVERYTIME HER MOTHER& I BAIL HER OUT.SHE HAS 3KIDS THE FIRST ONE IS DISABLE,NOT FROM DRUG USE SHE WAS BORN AT23 WEEKS AND WEIGH 1LB.I BELIEVE THIS IS WHEN IT GOT WORSE.MEGAN WAS IN THE HOSPITAL FOR A LONG TIME.EVERYDAY THEY WOULD TELL US SHE`S NOT GOING TO MAKE IT.THEY WERE WRONG BY THE GRACE OF GOD SHE DID.MEGAN IS BLIND,BUT THAT HAS NOT STOP HER ONE BIT.SHE CELEBRATE HER 5TH BIRTHDAY YESTERDAY.SHE TRULY IS A MIRACLE.THE SECOND BABY IS NATHAN THE GRANDMA HAS CUSTODY OF HIM &KATELYNN.HE IS 3 AND SHE IS 2 ILOVE THOSE KIDS,BUT KATELYNN STOLE MY HEART.YOU SEE OUT OF THE 2 YRS I HAD HER AT LEAST 1.I LOVE MY BESTFRIEND JUST WISH THERE WAS HELP FOR HER.I KNOW SHE LOVES HER KIDS I TELL HER ALL THE TIME GET HELP PLEASE.IT HARD TO FIND HELP FOR PEOPLE WITHOUT INSURANCE.PEOPLE TELL ME ALL THE TIME CUT HER OFF SHE GOING TO BRING YOU DOWN,BUT WHAT KIND OF FRIEND WOULD BE IF I TURN MY BACK ON HER.I WISH I COULD GET HER SOME HELP.I DON`T WANT TO SEE HER DIE.I WANT HER TO WANT TO CHANGE AND BE HERE FOR HERE BABIES.LOVE TO ALWAYS~CRYSTAL~