One of the main reasons for my writing here is I want so desperately to help other families not to have to go through what our family has gone through... I probably bore yall to tears with my repetitions... I won't apologize... to me this is about faith and loving my fellow man... I am not indifferent and I choose not to be...
The main reason I despise the psychological community... Its about money... and documentation... and get you in and out as quickly as possible... Oh... and you... frankly they could care less if you live or die... Harsh... yes... they are...
So much of what they ask is about intelligence... hell I never said I was stupid.... He did a list of vocabulary words and asked me to tell him what they meant... I guess if I'd said bomb, uzi, you know something violent to every word he would have called homeland security...
I did tell him I hadn't received a 3 month diagnosis yet when he wanted to know if I had homicidal thoughts about anyone... Not because I was amused but because I was aggravated....
Let's see... before they start they tell you I am a mandated reporter... i.e. if you express any suicidal or homicidal ideation which sounds imminent they are going to lock your ass up...
I get so mad... if they really wanted the truth why do they tell that to people up front... what they're really saying is... I really don't want the truth... I want to write down a bunch of stupid squiggles and send you on your way...
The reason I am so affected by this is Cara expressed suicidal thoughts many times... She was sad... she was afraid... and she needed help... but like she'd tell me... mama, you passed down too many brains... I know what to tell them... yes she did... they told her in advance... they should have taken my word...
You see there is an element of wimping out if you say straight up... 'I think so much about suicide and how I could do it that its pretty much all I think about...'
I know... I've been there... The time period I've talked about when I thought so much about suicide I could feel the pain of the various methods I considered. I wasn't afraid... I wanted the pain... It wasn't as bad as the pain in my soul... I was going to thereapy every week... but I didn't tell my therapist even though I trusted and liked her very much... If I decided to follow through I wanted no interference...
Even slow brains get it... So when they ask you if you're suicidal or homicidal... say no... If you are or even if you're just kind of thinking about these things, you're definitely going to say no. There are several factors... from the don't let them see how bad you hurt... to the if you tell they'll stop you...
We tried to get help for Cara several times... April 22, 2006 my mom died. Cara didn't want to go into the hospital before my her grandmother's funeral. I had finally convinced her that there was help available. She agreed to go into the Tau Center. Its a detox center.
Cara had been drinking and she was drinking a lot... sometimes more than a gallon of rum a day. I honestly believe that the reason Cara turned to alcohol was that the effect was so immediate and drastic none of us could ignore that she was in trouble and that somebody needed to take over before she destroyed herself.
Unfortunately a detox center is a very limited stay averaging between 5 to 7 days. The first time I brought Cara to the Tau Center she was hopeful and things went fairly well. They diagnosed her as being bipolar and having an anxiety disorder and said she needed long term inpatient care.
She was willing... even wanting to go. She had hope and she was grateful. Unfortunately beds for alcohol/substance abusers are limited, for both men and women, but especially for women.
I still don't know why they didn't try to get her into a psychiatric center based on her mental health diagnosis'... I guess because she didn't "wimp" out and tell them as she'd told me that she knew the alcohol and drugs were putting her at risk of dying.
She knew and she often wanted it to happen... She'd tell me mama I'm trying every way I know to get out... she meant to die... but she was too "smart" to tell the doctors that... and they didn't care what I told them... what her husband told them... hey... payday and quitting time... Do you realize how much extra paperwork we're going to have to do if we hospitalize her...
Cara wasn't strong enough to stay off the alcohol without being in a very structured environment for a much longer period than that provided by a detox center. There are reasons that there are so many detox centers and so few long term inpatient care facilities and its all about money.
So the Tau Center gave her a dx a handful of rx's and sent her on her way... The rx's were like gasoline on a fire... Cara felt abandoned and afraid and so the craving would overcome her and she'd start drinking again. Each time Cara tried to get help, tried to help herself... and failed... she hated herself even more... so it got progressively harder to get her to try.
I kept begging, praying and crying... and I got her after 3 weeks to go back to the Tau Center. They didn't want to take her. Her blood alcohol level was 4.3 and she flipped out on them so they took her... Same old story... 5 to 7 days...
but this time... "wait" Mr Bassett said we've got a placement for you for long term inpatient care... You're getting out on Saturday. I want you to go home with your mama, keep yourself straight and Monday morning... 9am you call Riverwest in New Orleans. They have a bed available for you.
Monday morning... I got up aruound 5:30am... Cara joined me around 7am... We sat at the table and talked... It had been a really great weekend and morning... She had hope... I had hope... 9am... She called Riverwest... Hope faltered... Riverwest was a detox center... the same as the Tau Center... Cara was no longer in need of detox... and not eligible...
I got on the phone and called the Tau Center... Mr Bassett was not available... I left a message for a call back... He never called. I got on the internet once again... looking for a place where she could go for help... this was the second time... I'd done the same the first time she was in the Tau Center... I expanded my search... No openings... or if there were it was for men only.
I say my daughter was murdered by indifference... and that is what I believe...
Sadly my child is not the only child killed by indifference... If the psychiatrist Seung Cho saw had done some follow up... do you think 33 people might be alive today.
This is I guess you could say my focus in life... I want to help families who are living through what we have, so that maybe they won't lose the earthly presence of their loved one....
The main reason I despise the psychological community... Its about money... and documentation... and get you in and out as quickly as possible... Oh... and you... frankly they could care less if you live or die... Harsh... yes... they are...
So much of what they ask is about intelligence... hell I never said I was stupid.... He did a list of vocabulary words and asked me to tell him what they meant... I guess if I'd said bomb, uzi, you know something violent to every word he would have called homeland security...
I did tell him I hadn't received a 3 month diagnosis yet when he wanted to know if I had homicidal thoughts about anyone... Not because I was amused but because I was aggravated....
Let's see... before they start they tell you I am a mandated reporter... i.e. if you express any suicidal or homicidal ideation which sounds imminent they are going to lock your ass up...
I get so mad... if they really wanted the truth why do they tell that to people up front... what they're really saying is... I really don't want the truth... I want to write down a bunch of stupid squiggles and send you on your way...
The reason I am so affected by this is Cara expressed suicidal thoughts many times... She was sad... she was afraid... and she needed help... but like she'd tell me... mama, you passed down too many brains... I know what to tell them... yes she did... they told her in advance... they should have taken my word...
You see there is an element of wimping out if you say straight up... 'I think so much about suicide and how I could do it that its pretty much all I think about...'
I know... I've been there... The time period I've talked about when I thought so much about suicide I could feel the pain of the various methods I considered. I wasn't afraid... I wanted the pain... It wasn't as bad as the pain in my soul... I was going to thereapy every week... but I didn't tell my therapist even though I trusted and liked her very much... If I decided to follow through I wanted no interference...
Even slow brains get it... So when they ask you if you're suicidal or homicidal... say no... If you are or even if you're just kind of thinking about these things, you're definitely going to say no. There are several factors... from the don't let them see how bad you hurt... to the if you tell they'll stop you...
We tried to get help for Cara several times... April 22, 2006 my mom died. Cara didn't want to go into the hospital before my her grandmother's funeral. I had finally convinced her that there was help available. She agreed to go into the Tau Center. Its a detox center.
Cara had been drinking and she was drinking a lot... sometimes more than a gallon of rum a day. I honestly believe that the reason Cara turned to alcohol was that the effect was so immediate and drastic none of us could ignore that she was in trouble and that somebody needed to take over before she destroyed herself.
Unfortunately a detox center is a very limited stay averaging between 5 to 7 days. The first time I brought Cara to the Tau Center she was hopeful and things went fairly well. They diagnosed her as being bipolar and having an anxiety disorder and said she needed long term inpatient care.
She was willing... even wanting to go. She had hope and she was grateful. Unfortunately beds for alcohol/substance abusers are limited, for both men and women, but especially for women.
I still don't know why they didn't try to get her into a psychiatric center based on her mental health diagnosis'... I guess because she didn't "wimp" out and tell them as she'd told me that she knew the alcohol and drugs were putting her at risk of dying.
She knew and she often wanted it to happen... She'd tell me mama I'm trying every way I know to get out... she meant to die... but she was too "smart" to tell the doctors that... and they didn't care what I told them... what her husband told them... hey... payday and quitting time... Do you realize how much extra paperwork we're going to have to do if we hospitalize her...
Cara wasn't strong enough to stay off the alcohol without being in a very structured environment for a much longer period than that provided by a detox center. There are reasons that there are so many detox centers and so few long term inpatient care facilities and its all about money.
So the Tau Center gave her a dx a handful of rx's and sent her on her way... The rx's were like gasoline on a fire... Cara felt abandoned and afraid and so the craving would overcome her and she'd start drinking again. Each time Cara tried to get help, tried to help herself... and failed... she hated herself even more... so it got progressively harder to get her to try.
I kept begging, praying and crying... and I got her after 3 weeks to go back to the Tau Center. They didn't want to take her. Her blood alcohol level was 4.3 and she flipped out on them so they took her... Same old story... 5 to 7 days...
but this time... "wait" Mr Bassett said we've got a placement for you for long term inpatient care... You're getting out on Saturday. I want you to go home with your mama, keep yourself straight and Monday morning... 9am you call Riverwest in New Orleans. They have a bed available for you.
Monday morning... I got up aruound 5:30am... Cara joined me around 7am... We sat at the table and talked... It had been a really great weekend and morning... She had hope... I had hope... 9am... She called Riverwest... Hope faltered... Riverwest was a detox center... the same as the Tau Center... Cara was no longer in need of detox... and not eligible...
I got on the phone and called the Tau Center... Mr Bassett was not available... I left a message for a call back... He never called. I got on the internet once again... looking for a place where she could go for help... this was the second time... I'd done the same the first time she was in the Tau Center... I expanded my search... No openings... or if there were it was for men only.
I say my daughter was murdered by indifference... and that is what I believe...
Sadly my child is not the only child killed by indifference... If the psychiatrist Seung Cho saw had done some follow up... do you think 33 people might be alive today.
This is I guess you could say my focus in life... I want to help families who are living through what we have, so that maybe they won't lose the earthly presence of their loved one....
Replies
The \"system\" fails so many. Unfortunatly, a lot of \"doctors\" believe medication is a short term answer to bipolar, grief, and many other problems. The reason for this is to passify and sedate until the issue resolves or the person is in a better place to communicate their needs. The long term care facilities are few and far between. When you are admitted and detoxed you meet with a group twice a day and a counelor twice a week. You eventually develop the ability to know your triggers and the tools to deal with a situation before it sets you off. Sometimes the tools are to get help right away. The conundrum is that help is not available right away. Bipolar is serious! There are the extreme hight and the extreme lows. The severity is measured in classifications. Medication is always ordered to try to keep the level as near to \"norm\" as possible. It is suspected that this ia a chemical imbalance in the receptors of the brain. It is not caused by the person nor can it be caused by anyone else. It is like a crossed eye or a big nose..it is just part of who the person is. Now the seratonin levels can be adjusted with medication, lithium can be given for the severe depression but again any medication that is given cannot be mixed with alcohol so docs are cautious when they know alcohol is a problem. They usually do not listen to family or friends until the person reaches an unresponsive state. The reason for this is the family or friends can be a contributing factor in that they are enabling the bad behaviors unknowingly. So it is best to work with someone one on one until you can figure out exactly what they need to stabilize the present flare up.
The best place to get help is a large health care facility. They know just where there might be an opening or can put you in touch with someone who will know where you can get help. If you let the ER docs know that you think your loved one could hurt themself or inadvertently be a danger to someone else they will get them help.
Money is always an issue with hospitals. If you don\'t have insurance, the state will usually provide but you have to apply. Kids under 18 are covered by a Federally funded program along with whatever the state allows.
Cara was failed by the system...the school system....the church....the state....doctors....health care and many other children have been lost through the same failure of the system to listen to parents, to add their voices and to have a treatment plan in place for such emergencies. If a child has measels or even head lice a plan goes into effect immediately. If a child is born premature a plan goes into effect immediately. I believe an emergency plan should be established for the mental health issues our children face today. Psychologist can help modify behaviour and they can spot many problems that are caused by medical conditions. They can help adjust to that medical abnomality. Psychiatrist can treat the medical aspect of the problem. There is no plan in place for our kids....there should be.
I want to thank for posting your story and my heart reaches out to you and your family and wish you the best. hewre is a great big hug oxoxoxoxo
I think you will of helped other by posting this. And what you say is true... it\'s sad that people are just doing their \"job\" and not taking real interest in their patients. And to think I wanted to be a psychiatrist! Ha!
{{{hugs}}} love you, charlayne