The following is a letter I got from my son. Today is my birthday... He sent this out yesterday and I'm so happy I'm shaking... Please forgive the bluntness of his language... sometimes he has a hard time expressing the depth of his feelings... and so he uses strong words... I personally don't have a problem with it... he's my son and I think he's perfect.
Hey mom,
Happy birthday for tommorrow.
I would like to say that I hope you are enjoying your birthday. I know I don't say a whole bunch, but I hope you are happy. You have lost a lot this year I know, like your whole world. I know that Cara would still want you to be happy. I bet she would have the same wish as me for you.
We want you to find something that makes you happy. Whatever it is. You have never seemed to be happy or should I say confident with yourself.
To be honest I don't know anybody that is. I would wish for you that you can find the strength to be able to walk into a room and say to yourself, "Fuck them". If they have a problem with me then, "Fuck Them".
I say it, it works for me. Of course my self motivation speech also includes, "I'll whip youir mother fuckin ass", and is said aloud, but I'm just saying. Do what works for you. I know this is easier said than done. For me its easier because I have a beautiful wife who really loves
me and lets me know that I am special and should be confident. That helps.
But you have things too. Cara loves you, I love you, Dad loves you. None of us hate you. At this point no one is pointing fingers, we all made mistakes, and I know we all did what we did just to try to be happier, not to hurt each other.
At this point I know we would all just go back to the way it was when we were crabing in point de chente?????????. I guess that's how its spelled. we would accept each others faults and move on.
What I'm trying to say is our lost loved ones are still
wishing us the best. They want us to be happy. Follow your heart mom.
Find something that makes you happy and do it and do lots of it. It doesn't matter about money or whatever, if it makes you happy then do it. Anybody that says otherwise, well you already know what to tell them.
Anyway, that's how I see it so I thought I would share it. I tell you what I would like to do. I would like to treat you to dinner for your birthday. So go out and treat yourself this weekend I'll send you the money for it.
Hi,
I am now enjoying my birthday a whole lot more than I was a few minutes ago. Words aren't ever going to say how much. I'd like to say one thing... while I lost the earthly presence of three of the most important women in my life this past year... I did not lose my whole world. I admit for awhile I thought I'd lost most of it... but time has helped. Your love has helped more than you'll ever know. It always has John. You are just as important to me as anyone else ever has been to me. I've always enjoyed you... in the beginning I loved your scent... the feel of my son in my arms... your peacefulness... you were a very good baby... then as you got older I loved your sense of self... your ability to have a good time with just a couple of cars - a pile of dirt - and that old black hat... that's one of the images that will live in my mind and heart forever. There are so many images and I'm grateful for all of them... good and bad... we share so much and I'm glad. I'd also like to say that those times when you need me... they're special too... I'm your mom and although I often can't fix things... I want to try... and sometimes just talking about things good or bad helps...
You've given me a daughter in law who is now the most important woman on earth in my life. You're right, she is beautiful, but if she were hare lipped and hunch backed she'd be just as beautiful. She has the most beautiful heart I've ever known. I count on her a lot to soften you up and she doesn't fail me.... I'm glad you appreciate her.
You have also given be gorgeous grandchildren. They're lovely and lively and oh so interesting... Today you gave me back your father's love. That means a lot to me. I never stopped loving him even though I messed up really bad. I knew long ago that he had forgiven me and I am grateful.
I'm working on finding something to do that makes me happy. There are financial considerations that we've talked about... Right now I can't even afford to go to work until I can find something that will pay enough for me to keep us afloat for our medical needs. Its ok. We're on free care for the moment and that is working. I have contacted vocational rehab and hopefully they can help me. If not I'll continue writing and perhaps something will click. I find it very fulfilling to help people through my writing. I have lived through a lot and its given me a mind and heart that feels for others. That's a blessing. I'd much rather be a person who cares too much than one who cares too little.
I really don't want to go out and have dinner on you. I want to see you. When we can even if you insist it be without Richard I hope to see you. I'm not going to press the issue of Richard. I won't come to Houma and make him wait on a street corner... but if you feel more comfortable not seeing him... come to Baton Rouge in the evening when he will be working... When you can. I know you are busy. In all honesty... your letter is more than enough gift in my opinion. I really appreciate it and you. Love You For Always Mom
My gift to you through my son... our loved ones still love us, they wish us well and they want us to be happy... I honestly believe that Shannon and Cara and all our loved ones agree with what John said... Did you know the name John means a gift from God?
Hey mom,
Happy birthday for tommorrow.
I would like to say that I hope you are enjoying your birthday. I know I don't say a whole bunch, but I hope you are happy. You have lost a lot this year I know, like your whole world. I know that Cara would still want you to be happy. I bet she would have the same wish as me for you.
We want you to find something that makes you happy. Whatever it is. You have never seemed to be happy or should I say confident with yourself.
To be honest I don't know anybody that is. I would wish for you that you can find the strength to be able to walk into a room and say to yourself, "Fuck them". If they have a problem with me then, "Fuck Them".
I say it, it works for me. Of course my self motivation speech also includes, "I'll whip youir mother fuckin ass", and is said aloud, but I'm just saying. Do what works for you. I know this is easier said than done. For me its easier because I have a beautiful wife who really loves
me and lets me know that I am special and should be confident. That helps.
But you have things too. Cara loves you, I love you, Dad loves you. None of us hate you. At this point no one is pointing fingers, we all made mistakes, and I know we all did what we did just to try to be happier, not to hurt each other.
At this point I know we would all just go back to the way it was when we were crabing in point de chente?????????. I guess that's how its spelled. we would accept each others faults and move on.
What I'm trying to say is our lost loved ones are still
wishing us the best. They want us to be happy. Follow your heart mom.
Find something that makes you happy and do it and do lots of it. It doesn't matter about money or whatever, if it makes you happy then do it. Anybody that says otherwise, well you already know what to tell them.
Anyway, that's how I see it so I thought I would share it. I tell you what I would like to do. I would like to treat you to dinner for your birthday. So go out and treat yourself this weekend I'll send you the money for it.
Hi,
I am now enjoying my birthday a whole lot more than I was a few minutes ago. Words aren't ever going to say how much. I'd like to say one thing... while I lost the earthly presence of three of the most important women in my life this past year... I did not lose my whole world. I admit for awhile I thought I'd lost most of it... but time has helped. Your love has helped more than you'll ever know. It always has John. You are just as important to me as anyone else ever has been to me. I've always enjoyed you... in the beginning I loved your scent... the feel of my son in my arms... your peacefulness... you were a very good baby... then as you got older I loved your sense of self... your ability to have a good time with just a couple of cars - a pile of dirt - and that old black hat... that's one of the images that will live in my mind and heart forever. There are so many images and I'm grateful for all of them... good and bad... we share so much and I'm glad. I'd also like to say that those times when you need me... they're special too... I'm your mom and although I often can't fix things... I want to try... and sometimes just talking about things good or bad helps...
You've given me a daughter in law who is now the most important woman on earth in my life. You're right, she is beautiful, but if she were hare lipped and hunch backed she'd be just as beautiful. She has the most beautiful heart I've ever known. I count on her a lot to soften you up and she doesn't fail me.... I'm glad you appreciate her.
You have also given be gorgeous grandchildren. They're lovely and lively and oh so interesting... Today you gave me back your father's love. That means a lot to me. I never stopped loving him even though I messed up really bad. I knew long ago that he had forgiven me and I am grateful.
I'm working on finding something to do that makes me happy. There are financial considerations that we've talked about... Right now I can't even afford to go to work until I can find something that will pay enough for me to keep us afloat for our medical needs. Its ok. We're on free care for the moment and that is working. I have contacted vocational rehab and hopefully they can help me. If not I'll continue writing and perhaps something will click. I find it very fulfilling to help people through my writing. I have lived through a lot and its given me a mind and heart that feels for others. That's a blessing. I'd much rather be a person who cares too much than one who cares too little.
I really don't want to go out and have dinner on you. I want to see you. When we can even if you insist it be without Richard I hope to see you. I'm not going to press the issue of Richard. I won't come to Houma and make him wait on a street corner... but if you feel more comfortable not seeing him... come to Baton Rouge in the evening when he will be working... When you can. I know you are busy. In all honesty... your letter is more than enough gift in my opinion. I really appreciate it and you. Love You For Always Mom
My gift to you through my son... our loved ones still love us, they wish us well and they want us to be happy... I honestly believe that Shannon and Cara and all our loved ones agree with what John said... Did you know the name John means a gift from God?
Replies
Awww that was so wonderful of him. You raised a wonderful son. He seems like a very sweet man. You are lucky to have him as a son. Now you take what he said and apply it to your life Elissa. And also HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! (I would blow of one of those cazoo\'s if I had one) hahah Take Care hun!
What a nice gift! We need to know that we are loved and appreciated
once in a while. I am again in a crying period. I try not to feel sorry for myself but it comes and goes. Sometimes I can talk about
my loss and other times I just break up. Melanie and Jason went to
wrestel mania last night. Elise bought the tickets in October and
they were for Jason\'s Christmas present. Jason didn\'t want to go as
he has a hard time doing things that were planned different. He did
have a good time and he and Melanie enjoyed the time together. Easter
will again be sad. Dinner was always at my house. This year Melanie
has to work. She is a flight attendant and can\'t get off. It will
just be Jason and me. I think we will go out to eat. I found one of
the disposable cameras that Elise had. Karen, my daughter in Oregon,
came to visit in September and we had our picture taken together. It
is the last picture of me with my two daughters. I am glad that it
turned out good (although I look fat on in). I really cried when I
saw it. We have many happy and sad memories. I don\'t mean to always
turn to myself when I answer you. I only wanted to wish you a very
happy birthday and many more. Love ya!
What a lovely gift! Both to have him for your son and to have gotten a letter from him like that.......
and you deserve it all my friend. Every last thing!
I just got home from my support group and I got more out of your son\'s letter than I did from the group(very nice group though) Thank-you again and Happy Birthday!!!!!
He is Evan all over, right down to the language! My heart is bursting with joy for you at his beautiful, loving thoughts. How old is this young man of yours?
Happy B-Day My friend, quite a son you have I enjoyed his letter.