Pain and lonliness get boring...
I used to feel so tired all the time... still do sometimes... but for the time being I've got plenty of time to sleep... actually I need to work harder on a schedule as I hide in sleep too much... Working on a lot of things...
I've been more than a little saddened because I haven't seen my grandchildren but once since the day of Cara's funeral... I went to Houma to bring everyone their Christmas gifts Dec 22... I feel like I'm losing them too. I talk to them often which helps...
I know Ben has a lot on his plate but I do wish he'd bring the children up for a couple of days... Sometimes I wish I could have them here permanently... I worry a lot about them...
My son and daughter in law and their two kids are going to Disney World in Florida... I'm glad they're doing something together...
I'm worried about my son... He's been withdrawing and angry... and I know he has problems with depression too... I'm sending them an article from this months Reader's Digest about men and depression... I'm hoping he will see how his feelings may be unresolved grief and get some help... I do believe in counseling and education so much more than meds...
There was a good story about a girl and her dog in there... I'm not advocating getting a dog... *Smile* I was just thinking how much our pets become part of our lives and what a gap they leave when they go...
We still miss Duchess... my main source of comfort is that we took care of her and she took care of us as long as we could...
I'd really appreciate if anybody could give me some ideas to help my family... we're all probably having problems that go far beyond our own pain... Love You All... Take Care Elissa
I used to feel so tired all the time... still do sometimes... but for the time being I've got plenty of time to sleep... actually I need to work harder on a schedule as I hide in sleep too much... Working on a lot of things...
I've been more than a little saddened because I haven't seen my grandchildren but once since the day of Cara's funeral... I went to Houma to bring everyone their Christmas gifts Dec 22... I feel like I'm losing them too. I talk to them often which helps...
I know Ben has a lot on his plate but I do wish he'd bring the children up for a couple of days... Sometimes I wish I could have them here permanently... I worry a lot about them...
My son and daughter in law and their two kids are going to Disney World in Florida... I'm glad they're doing something together...
I'm worried about my son... He's been withdrawing and angry... and I know he has problems with depression too... I'm sending them an article from this months Reader's Digest about men and depression... I'm hoping he will see how his feelings may be unresolved grief and get some help... I do believe in counseling and education so much more than meds...
There was a good story about a girl and her dog in there... I'm not advocating getting a dog... *Smile* I was just thinking how much our pets become part of our lives and what a gap they leave when they go...
We still miss Duchess... my main source of comfort is that we took care of her and she took care of us as long as we could...
I'd really appreciate if anybody could give me some ideas to help my family... we're all probably having problems that go far beyond our own pain... Love You All... Take Care Elissa
Replies
Elissa,
Good morning. I have the same feelings you do about losing your grandkinds. Robin\'s family, Patrick her husband, Corey, her 17 year old son and Emily, her almost 15 year old daughter, live right here in town. In fact Patrick works for my husband and I and we belong to the same church. The thing of it is, when Robin was still here, she would bring the kids with her and come see me, usually on Wednesday afternoon. I\'m off on Wednesday and the kids get out of school early, so it was always kind of our day to hang out together, me, Robin, Tara and all my grandkids. But since Robin died, Emily and Corey don\'t come over on Wednesdays anymore. Emily would rather go home and play on \"My Space\" and talk on the phone with her friends and boyfriend and Corey is just so down in the dumps and depressed, he just goes home too. Patrick is putting them in counseling, Corey\'s first session in tonight, and Emily is mad about it, she says she doesn\'t \"need\" counseling, she\'s just fine! Since her Mom died, she has acted this way, very few tears and never talks about her Mom or about missing her or anything. Corey is very upset and sad about his Mom. I understand his reaction way more than I understand Emily\'s. I want the two of them to still come and see me and \"hang out\", but I guess they both are getting \"to old\" to hang out with Grandma and aunts and cousins, and with no Mom around to make them, they just do what they want. You talked about your son in law having his plate full, so does Patrick. If anybody does give you any ideas, let me know, cause I could use some to!
Love, Kathie
Hang in there Elissa.
Elissa, Boy, do I sure wish I had the answers you are looking for, cause I\'d use them for us as well.
Christina refuses to talk about her dad, I mean flat out refuses. I have finally quit trying to get her to talk about what happened, I had a grief counseler from the Visting Nurses Asso./Hospice come a couple of times to talk with her. Christina looked at that woman and said \"I am fine, I wish everyone would just leave me alone! If I wanted to talk about it, it wouldn\'t be to you!\"
I was so embarrased by her disrespect, I have not raised her to be that way, I have always told her to be respectful to her elders, I could have choked her. I apologized to the lady, she said she has heard worse, not to worry. She said that when she was ready to talk, she will. She told me that we cannot force anyone to speak of their feelings when they are not ready to do so.
Still, I can\'t help but feel lost on this, helpless is more like it.
Tell your son and son-in-law that you are missing the kids and would very much like to have some time with them. If they are in school, spring break is around the corner, maybe they could spend it at your house? Or maybe you could go there?
I wish I could help you on this one, I really do, as you have helped me out so much. I am sorry I don\'t have the answers. Remember though that I love you!! *smile* Kat