Re My attempted suicide...

yes I did try and only my children's needs saved me once again... I have so often thought how sad it is... someone commits suicide and forever after people say things like, "oh that's Sarah Brown, her mother committed suicide you know..." Like that is all that Sarah Brown will ever be known for... I kept suicide at bay for a long time with thoughts like that, and the knowledge or belief that no one would ever love my children as I would... but then I went to a dr who was doing an evaluation of me and he kept telling me I couldn't do anything about what was going to happen to my kids... and so finally I asked him if he was telling me I should go ahead and commit suicide... no, he said but you can't do anything about what's going to happen to your kids... It was withing a few days of that dr's evaluation that I decided perhaps my kids would be better off if I were out of the picture... remember I was being evaluated because I wasn't doing too hot at the time... anyway I survived... I guess he was right about me not being able to do anything about what was going to happen to my kids... but I have tried...
I'm not at an insane point in my life right now although its hard not to be... I know he was trying to tell me that you can't pin your life on someone/anyone else... Its not healthy... I did and do live for my family and I don't apologize... I can't do anything sometimes but I do always love them... in life and now I find... in death...