Talked to stbx. She is at a womans shelter with our kids, and says she is staying there until I get help. She insists that I have psychological problems, and unless I admit them, she will keep the kids away.
I view this as a recurring control trip of her paranoid personality disorder. Three times in the last 10 years I went to therapists to find out if there was anything to her allegations, and each time I was told no I am fine, especially having to deal with her and her problems. Part of her issues that she can not face transfer all problems on me, and she is constantly suspicious and negative toward me. One year ago we were going through divorce in California, and claimed I had all these problems in her separation papers. Yet the family mediator saw no reason for concern, nor did the judge, who granted 50% joint custody in his court order. Unfortunatedly I lost my job then, and before the divorce was finalized, we stopped and moved to Florida to be near her friends and family.
She is saying that she is not out to hurt me, but her actions do hurt me. Taking the kids out of the house is the worst thing that could happen to the kids and I. My daughter hates the way she is treated by stbx, and looks to me to give her some normalcy. She has refused to pay her 1/2 for any expenses such as mortgage, utilities, food, etc, even though she took the proceeds from the sale of our house, and has much more money than I. So based on these factors I am hurt, and will retain atty today, in the attempt to get control of my life back.
I did agree to go to family councilling with her and the kids, and will go in with an open mind and speak honestly. But I can predict that she will react the way she has every time in the past when we went to councilling - she will be fine as long as the councillor supports her, but the second any idea of mine is supported, she will shut off to the process with an excuse such as 'she just doesn't like me" or I'm twisting things around to make myself look good.
I view this as a recurring control trip of her paranoid personality disorder. Three times in the last 10 years I went to therapists to find out if there was anything to her allegations, and each time I was told no I am fine, especially having to deal with her and her problems. Part of her issues that she can not face transfer all problems on me, and she is constantly suspicious and negative toward me. One year ago we were going through divorce in California, and claimed I had all these problems in her separation papers. Yet the family mediator saw no reason for concern, nor did the judge, who granted 50% joint custody in his court order. Unfortunatedly I lost my job then, and before the divorce was finalized, we stopped and moved to Florida to be near her friends and family.
She is saying that she is not out to hurt me, but her actions do hurt me. Taking the kids out of the house is the worst thing that could happen to the kids and I. My daughter hates the way she is treated by stbx, and looks to me to give her some normalcy. She has refused to pay her 1/2 for any expenses such as mortgage, utilities, food, etc, even though she took the proceeds from the sale of our house, and has much more money than I. So based on these factors I am hurt, and will retain atty today, in the attempt to get control of my life back.
I did agree to go to family councilling with her and the kids, and will go in with an open mind and speak honestly. But I can predict that she will react the way she has every time in the past when we went to councilling - she will be fine as long as the councillor supports her, but the second any idea of mine is supported, she will shut off to the process with an excuse such as 'she just doesn't like me" or I'm twisting things around to make myself look good.
Replies