I am doing good today.  I went to work this morning.  I got home about 2:30.  I am still feeling down about my therapy session yesterday, but I am able to function today.  I know that I need to make a decision whether to stay in my dysfunctional marriage, or get out of it.  I know that this is what causes me to want to hurt myself all the time.  I want to cut, and I know that this is not an option for me anymore.  I haven't cut in almost five months now.  My therapist tells me that I am doing a good job, but that she is fearful that I am going down the road that I was on before, which means going in to the hospital, like I did six weeks ago, I tried to explain to her that I wouldn't try to commit suicide again, that I wouldn't let him overwhelm me again, that I am stronger.  I would hope that she would believe me.  I truly want to  work things out with my husband, he just keeps putting my family down, and that hurts me.  I know that I don't have a relationship with them right now, but I want to try and get a relationship back with them, afterall they are my parents, no matter what happened when I was a child, I am willing to forgive and forget.  I just don't know how to go about getting back into their lives right now.  I need time to think about it.  Well I have been rambling on as usual, but it feels better to get it out in journaling.  Everyone have a great day.