My therapy went well yesterday for the first part of the session anyways.  We discussed my anxiety I had over the weekend, she said after all the abuse and the problems in my childhood that would explain all the anxiety I have over social events .  We discussed how I can self talk myself out of the anxiety, and I am   willing to try some of these strategies.  It is retraining my brain to think differently.  The other half didn't go as well, we talked about how I still feel guiltly about what happened before I went in the hospital.  I told her that I feel guilty what I put my family through.  I feel bad that I make my husband worry about me so much.  She got mad that I feel bad for my husband.  She said that he was the reason that I was in the situation I was in and why did I not see that.  I always defend him, and I shouldn't because I did what I did because of him.  He drove me to it.  I need to stop living in denial.  Marriage counseling went well, we didn't have any arguments, we agreed that we need to tell each other our feelings.  I am still afraid to tell him my feelings because I am afraid he will discount them, like he has done in the past.  I brought that up in the session and he said that  it is in the past.  But I know that he will still do it.   We are taking baby steps.    Well I have rambled on enough.  Everyone have a good day.  I will.