Today I went to school after being sick, I'm up grading or trying to the past little while just seems to run together the class I'm in I don't even know if I'm suppose to be in it well anyway if not I should sOon be on the right track by next week im really at my low point trying so hard not to break down but today I f my car up good may need a new engine omg like really that's my luck I would do anything to get ahead but maybe that's gods way of keeping me here cuz I wouldn't off myself while in debt but so close .never takes long to get into debt but trying toget outa it that's anouther story .maybe my faith isn't strong enough I don't know but I dunno how this will make it stronger I'm do week I don't know how I made it this far everything just seems like its getting worse but I don't know what would be the deal breaker . The relationship I'm in we'll in not even sure of it no more maybe because I have no faith In my self so y should I in it .i still preying I can take Some ones disease from them go really truly values life maybe they can put it to good use since I'm having a hell of a time . Just needing a break I feel like I got no one I can talk to about anything no more old friends have ruined it for me my trust is so hard to earn any more god help me . I want to ema someone to forgive them but does that mean I have to have them back In my life ? Even if I don't trust them does it mean I fully don't forgive the way the bible wants us too . I better read more and learn more to find out