i live everyday waiting woundering, will i ever be want i wish to be or will it only be a dream, i think about death so much its so hard for me to get through every day, the days seem like wheres the time goes because its like im not paying attention but i think 85 percent of my thoughts is either how gross i am , or how fat i am , or pathetic , and the other is divided up between my 8 months daughter , and money and kids and the man in my life and everything. how bad is it that those thought come over so many things in my life. 
i wanna cut , i wanna cut my legs, my arms my neck i want to feel the blood running down my body and hae a nice hot steamy shower after to feel the burn
i want these feelings to stop and end , i dont know how to make them.