I'm pretty bummed out tonight.  All the test results are finally starting to sink in.  The 45-minute phone consult with the doctor is finally starting to sink in.  Harrison has many issues to deal with, like an immune system that's out of whack, neurotransmitters that aren't functioning like they should, yeast/bacteria imbalance in his gut (which is what's giving him chronic diarrhea), methylation issues, and those are just some of the bigger ones.  When going over the test results from his hair analysis, I had everything backwards (which is why I'm not a doctor).  I thought he only had small amounts of three toxins in his system, but it is the other way around.  He HAD all but three toxic elements in his system, including large amounts of mercury in his system.  For some reason, he has an inability to properly excrete these toxins from his body.  I'm not saying that mercury causes autism because I don't think that it, alone, does.  I do think it plays a role in conjunction with other genetic predispositions.  This is where my overwhelming sense of guilt comes from.  I was the one who held my son down during all his vaccinations.  I was the one who allowed them to pump all those toxins into his little body.  This is something I have carry with me, and I just feel so horrible about it.  He's my little boy, and I screwed up really bad.  I will have to talk to him someday about all this, and I just don't know what I'm going to say except that I'm very sorry for allowing it to happen and not preventing it like I should have.