They say the date today is a lucky day, but I don't feel so lucky right now.  Things are starting to get a little better, but I don't think they'll ever be the same.  I'm still trying to find answers as to why this had to happen, but I suddenly realize that maybe I'm not meant to find the answers.  Maybe the answers aren't the important things right now (or maybe ever).  I think there's just one fundamental question I'm going to work on: How am I going to help my family through this?  The rest, I lay in God's hands, and when He wants me to have the answers, He will give me the answers.  I do find comfort in the fact that He's looking after my little baby.     As for my wife and I, we are able to talk about what happened a little longer each time.  The frowns are starting to go away; they aren't replaced with smiles, just flat looks.  But hey, you have to start somewhere.  I don't think that, in a thousand years, I could ever have the strength she's shown in the past week, and I think all this has brought us closer than we have ever been.  I'm very proud of her for her being able to keep going after all this.     I worked yesterday, and she had the day off.  She went on a "day trip" to see a friend of hers and didn't get home until well after Harrison's bedtime (he was also with her).  So I didn't really get to see Harrison much yesterday, but when my wife got home and actually had a smile on her face, it was well worth it.  It was good to see her smile.     Harrison is progressing well.  We're still waiting for the paperwork from the dx, and I don't know why I'm still so anxious.  Words are just words.  They do no justice to who my son really is.  His imitative play is really getting better.  My wife and I use songs from our childhood to get him to imitate us, and it's working.  Unfortunately, he did do a good job of imitating his first swear word (learned from me).  The scary thing is that he's able to use it in context!  Now that the basement remodel project in complete, he has much more room to play, and he loves it down there!  It's our new favorite place.     He does start preschool in a month and a half.  I'm scared, anxious, and excited all at the same time.  I know it's probably the best thing for him, but there's still a part of me that doesn't want to let him go.  I don't care about sleeping in.  I don't care about a little alone time.  I'm just going to, in a way, miss my little buddy.  I am so blessed to have him.     I will have to go back on one of my original statements in this journal entry, now that I think about it.  My wife is recovering, showing signs of emotional imnprovement, and we are actually able to laugh a little.  My son is making improvements, starts preschool (which means he's growing up), and is my little buddy, the "best little boy a daddy could ask for" (which I often tell him).  I guess I'm lucky after all.