It was a hectic but very fun few days off (Wed. and Thur.). I took my son to a 1-hour photo studio for pictures for a Mother's Day gift. At the last minute, I wanted our shirts to match for the pictures (I think some of my wife's fashion sense may finally be rubbing off on me), so I took him to Baby Gap, which is connected to the regular Gap store, and found matching shirts. I was smart about it this time and fed him lunch BEFORE the pictures. Anyway, the pictures turned out wonderfully, and I'm sure my wife will be pleased. We both look so happy in the pictures, and our lives together reflect this.

I'm a little nervous about my son's upcoming diagnosis appointment. My early interventionist and child psychologist assured my wife and me that whatever the diagnosis turns out to be, my son will still receive the services he needs. I think the wait is making me second guess my decision to have him diagnosed, especially since he has been making such good progress in the past few weeks. He won't lose any services, but he may qualify for more services. This is the thought that's helping me keep a positive mindset towards the diagnosis. I just don't know.

I am pretty excited about this coming Tuesday. I scheduled an appointment to visit the Early Childhood Special Education preschool room that my son will probably be attending in the fall. I had entertained thoughts about volunteering in the room, but as hard as it's going to be, I will give my son the time to gain the sense of independence he needs. The schedule will be for half days, five days a week. On my days off, I can pick him up before lunch for our special time together. I guess I will just miss him, and it's going to be hard to let him go. And this is just the beginning!

I can feel such a connection between us that I never realized possible or never anticipated before I came a parent. All these decisions are extremely difficult because I want to do the right thing for him, not because I owe it to him as his parent but because I love him as his father. It's not an obligation but a privelege. It's a privelege that I NEVER will take for granted because my time with him is far too short already, and I want to cherish every waking second of every waking day. And judging by the way he sometimes looks into my eyes, I think he knows this, which is one of the many joys I have of being his father.