I think it has been four maybe five years now since my tbi. The past couple of years have been the hardest. I can cope with not remembering stuff, I can cope with not being able to drive, but what i struggle most with is the muscle tone issues that keep pulling my hips and spine and neck out of aline, mercy it is painful. .. company has dropped by. i will write more later. My dad and uncle dropped by.
I worked on stain glass this morning. Some of it went well and some of it was hard to make turn out barely okay.
well there is the phone again. brb.
A good friend called and we had a quick chat. She bought a potty training potty for her grandson.
The sounds of summer are all about, lawn mowers and buzzing insects. there are smells too of cut grass, irises in bloom, and honeysuckle, and there is always the smell of coffee in my house.
My mind has been interrupted too many times and now I am a bit lost at what I was going to chat about.
I feel so useless ; the tbi has rendered me you know tbi and now this stupid neruo pain that resides in my hip and legs makes life so much worse. I could bare alot of this tbi live if I JUST did NOT HURT with this hatefull mean evil PAIN. I miss being able to drive when ever I needed to go somewhere. I miss teaching sometimes. I do not miss the people that use to be around before the tbi; exept a few that i thought were for the rest of my life kind of friends. But in way the person that was their friend before the tbi is no longer; I am different. I am not exactlly retarded; but i am not exactly normal either. I have a damaged brain. But the brain is dynamic and it trys to heal and compensate.
There are times I am fluid and smooth and then there are other times my brain is held in shadows.
I think my eye sight may have improvements but not enough to be allowed to drive. I have had some brain changes and I am able to understand left and right, I understand time at the 15 minutes but i am not sure if it is 15 minutes before or after on a clock with hands. My since of time is still not good but I think i can tell time has passed by how much knitting or crocheting i have gotten done.
I am trying to do some cooking but still with some one present. I did try to cook recently , twice, unsupervised and ; well; i got tired and in the middle of cooking and sat down in the living room and forgot i was cooking. This is embarrassing to talk about. When i smelt some thing burning and returned to the kitchen I saw what I had left cooking all burnt up. turned off the stove and disposed of the burn food outside.
The pain in my legs is distracting me and wearing on my hope. My brain is getting tired too. take care.
I worked on stain glass this morning. Some of it went well and some of it was hard to make turn out barely okay.
well there is the phone again. brb.
A good friend called and we had a quick chat. She bought a potty training potty for her grandson.
The sounds of summer are all about, lawn mowers and buzzing insects. there are smells too of cut grass, irises in bloom, and honeysuckle, and there is always the smell of coffee in my house.
My mind has been interrupted too many times and now I am a bit lost at what I was going to chat about.
I feel so useless ; the tbi has rendered me you know tbi and now this stupid neruo pain that resides in my hip and legs makes life so much worse. I could bare alot of this tbi live if I JUST did NOT HURT with this hatefull mean evil PAIN. I miss being able to drive when ever I needed to go somewhere. I miss teaching sometimes. I do not miss the people that use to be around before the tbi; exept a few that i thought were for the rest of my life kind of friends. But in way the person that was their friend before the tbi is no longer; I am different. I am not exactlly retarded; but i am not exactly normal either. I have a damaged brain. But the brain is dynamic and it trys to heal and compensate.
There are times I am fluid and smooth and then there are other times my brain is held in shadows.
I think my eye sight may have improvements but not enough to be allowed to drive. I have had some brain changes and I am able to understand left and right, I understand time at the 15 minutes but i am not sure if it is 15 minutes before or after on a clock with hands. My since of time is still not good but I think i can tell time has passed by how much knitting or crocheting i have gotten done.
I am trying to do some cooking but still with some one present. I did try to cook recently , twice, unsupervised and ; well; i got tired and in the middle of cooking and sat down in the living room and forgot i was cooking. This is embarrassing to talk about. When i smelt some thing burning and returned to the kitchen I saw what I had left cooking all burnt up. turned off the stove and disposed of the burn food outside.
The pain in my legs is distracting me and wearing on my hope. My brain is getting tired too. take care.
Replies
Thanks for letting us know how you are doing. I am so sorry that you are in this terrible pain. It not only wears down your body, but also your brain too. I hope you can find some type of relief for it. I know what you mean that sometimes your brain is fluid and sometimes in the shadows. I did notice that you type well and can express how you feel, so that is something positive. Take care of yourself and I hope things continually get better for you.
Hi - I\'m sorry I was not there for you. I\'m right there with you, C. Not the same exact kind of pain; but pain. Pain in my head where I can do nothing else and I\'ve overmedicated myself (on accident) - I will find a way to fix that.
I\'m lost too. I could cry when I read that. I could cry because I know you, I\'ve known you for five years and here we are lost .... again. We get so high when it\'s great; but when we lose our keys or don\'t remember something simple or see our friends doing what WE used to do.. we get crushed, and only we know the hurt. The ache in our chest and all the \"what if\'s\" that drive us crazy.
I came on to respond to cheer you not to bring you down so I\'ll write this:
We\'re here together, all of us. I need to come on more like I used to, because I need to. We\'re stronger because of what we went through, we have new abilities to compensate for the ones we lost. I\'m thinking of five years ago who we were, and all the new talents you have now. Talents you may not have discovered if it wasn\'t for the stupid tbi.
I\'ll always be here to help you, cheer you, laugh with you cry with you, get to the next level, I\'ll try my best and you know I might fail, but just like you would, I\'ll try my hardest. I\'ll get to your house!
And I know you will do that for me.
I love you.
I would help anyone who asked. You have the same heart as me, you would too. I think a tbi or brain injury does change you in a certain way that you can\'t get back.
........ but it also changes the size of your heart, you know it grows
kim