Sigh,  Just a week of pms female problmes .  Went to the dr. and as usual I did not like what the dr. said.  I am so scared of a hystomretamy.  Everthing inside me screams NO.    I am also seeing more of myself; the new not improved tbi survivor me.   I am not sure how much of me is really here; i am in some kind of limbo.  I can talk and walk. I can paint.  I can not drive. I am having to come to terms with that I am not able to take care of myself.  Very scary.  I have reliaztion of being in limbo but not really sure how to get out of it; it is stuck to me.  I read others journals and understand what they feel.  We have a knowing. Oh Lord above this hurts to my soul.  I can feel the tears and the tears that do not come but the hurt is still there.