I am greiving again.  I have had one health issue ofter another and the stress of tring to run my household.  I am trying to keep things from falling apart; it is only slowing and delaying to processes is how it feels.  My mood is dark so this is not going to be very happy energy.  I concedered tring to weather it out alone but I need to talk.   We have a sick cat that has be be keep in a large three story cat/condo cage.  She threw up again this morning.  My husband tentatively takes care of her: he gives her her pill everyday.  I am not well enoug to have to deal with this.  And I cannot drive or find anyone willing to help me take her to the vet.  So we all suffer toether.  When and if she ever dies; I am bury her face down so she knows where she is going. I  am upset about the house being a mess.   There are just general maintainces that come with owning a house and I have not been able to keep up with having these things taken care of.  It is getting to me today.  There are the typical financal worries and these are pressing heavy on me.  We can not get the school loan company to work with us on a managable pay plan.  I am sick with worry.   The medical companies have worked with us and we have managed to make serious progress in paying off the medical debt.   Short term memory is still a big problem.  I walked out of the kitchen while cooking breakfast on the griddle, toast and an egg.  My husband was here and called to me that i needed to come back to the kitchen...   I am so tired of not feeling well and the pain and not being able to drive so I can see a dr.   And to complecate matters I have been without a neuologiet because the one here moved away.  And I did not get to put in flowers this spring in my front flower bed and I am so missing having flowers in the flower bed for a little cheer. I am so sad.  I continue to have abdominal pain and horrible peroids.  I am so mad; I was so hopeful that the embolization of fiboids would help eliminate the pain.   I think the colon spasms have calmed down but the internal hemroids are a bain to my whole existance.  I had no idea something could be so horrilbe painful.    I am struggling with my weight. I have gained 8lbs and so tired of feeling like I am starving.  Some of it is my body healing and maybe some of it is emotional hunger and nutrional problems? I know I am also struggling with dry scalp, hunger, consipation, fatigue, etc..  I am worn down and let down. Then there is the stress of being married and being too sick to be married.  My tbi changed our whole world upside down; I took care of most everything and now my husband is having to take care of stuff. I hate this and so does he.   Minimal gets taken care of.   sighs and more bad mood.  Well there is the crust on the pie.