Well, I knew it was coming, I could feel it rising in my head and my heart. I finally crashed bad yesterday, and it was triggered by something so small and insignificant. I cried for hours after everyone was asleep and the kids were off to school. I looked at pictures and remembered all those things about this time of year that I have not enjoyed this year. The decorating of the tree, hanging all the old Christmas cards from Christmas' past. We as a norm had a wall for new ones and a bigger wall for all the old ones.I went through the why me's and the how comes. I ranted and cried some more. I know alot of the emotion comes from so much work, the long drive, the time of year and so on....I just wanted to tell all of my special friends here that are all in different stages of their grief that I pray for us and for our babies, that I think about how much we all care about each other and how hard this path has been for us all to travel. I know in my heart that without your love and your kind words and caring natures when I needed it most and could only cry...I never would have made it to where I am now. I am grateful to have each of you in my world, even if we all hate the fact of how we ended up here, I am blesseD and wanted to let you all know how much you mean to me and my family. You are all truly the best Christmas Gift I could have ever received no matter what year it is.THANK YOU AND BLESS YOU ALL THROUGH YOUR HOLIDAYS
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This place and these people are God\'s blessing to all of us in different and special ways. Without you all I know for sure I could not have made the progress I have. You and the others have cried with me, picked me up and held me. You have walked and talked with me, you have let me rant and rave and no body has offered one word of condemnation. As a group there are many very strong and wonderful women here and we are all blessed to have found a place where we are allowed to say the unthinkable without judgement. May the blessings you wished for us be your ten fold and may you continue to find solstice and comfort here. Love and hugs Cathy
ALL OF YOU HERE ARE THE REASON I AM STILL HERE..IM ALSO BLESSED THAT WE ARE HERE FOR EACH OTHER...I LOVE EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU...WE ALL HAVE OUR GOOD DAYS AND BAD DAYS...NO MATTER THE LENGTH OF TIME OUR CHILDREN LEFT US...ITS A HEARTACHE THAT WILL NEVER EVER MEND...AND ITS OUR WOREST NIGHTMARE...ITS GONA BE 18 MONTHS ON THE 20TH, AND STILL ITS SEEMS AS YESTERDAY..AND THERE ARE DAYS I STILL CANT BELIEVE MY SON IS GONE...AND MANY DAYS I STILL CANT GET A GRIP ON THE HEARTACHE I HAVE AND WILL CARRY WITH ME FOREVER...UNTIL I SEE HIM AGAIN
....HERE FOR U ALWAYS...LOVE YA
I, too am so thankful for having found DS so soon after my son\'s passing. It is the support and knowledge I\'ve gained here that has helped me more than anything else. I\'m sorry you had such a bad day yesterday. I\'m learning these ups and downs sometimes come without notice and sometimes are triggered by, like you say, something small and insignificant. Personally, I\'ll be glad when 1/1/08 gets here. I just can\'t get into the holiday spirit. Walking with you, Adrianne
I knew it would happen to you...so much pressure... holidays, pain and lonliness missing your family and lovely daughter, new job, traveling...glad in a way that you had a little meltdown...for me it helps release the pressure valve so to speak...but leaves me in a heap, but somehow a little better...don\'t know if it is the same for you or not...just hoping it helped.
Take it easy & as the airline stewardess say...\"buckle up and put your oxygen mask on first!\"
(otherwise you won\'t be able to help others)
(lol...just thought of that little analogy...probably heard it somewhere else...maybe even here, but it is so true...
Take care of YOU!
Love,
Ann