Blue fits me today for sure. We put in several hours this past week, along with the drive there and back, 4 hours of travel time, and we still are not open yet. Soooooo.... many things to do to get the place operational.We are starting short handed, that is just the way it is in our department. I am very excited for the opening, hopefully it will be sometime next week. Maybe around the day before Thanksgiving, now that would be perfect. Keep both of us busy for this holiday anyhow. I am fighting the blues left and right. Trying not to get to upset at the ones I love, not doing to great of a job at that but I am trying...I think.I got into a yelling match with Alexsis over some bullcrap around the house and it grew into an all out knock down screaming match, still not too sure who won, or if there were any winners. I only know that I feel like I am completely drained and still pissed off at the world. She mentioned something about MayLyn and it was on like a chicken bone. It wasn't even anything bad or mean, but it went straight to my mouth bypassing my brain. Sometimes I wonder if those two are ever connected.I do know I hate this time of year. And I also know that I shouldn't. I am blessed and I am grateful for so much, what can I say? Only you all here know what I want to say, and why I cry out like I do. You do it too, No? I seem to deal better with the other 10 months than I do with this month and the next.MayLyn would have been 29 this year. I've probably said that a hundred times in the past few weeks. Why are so many people asking me about her lately? It's so weird. I think about her all the time and mention her on occasion, although as usual most people just look away and quickly change the subject, now that I am used to. I actually had someone respond to a question answered about her death with "WAAAAAAAA", I was so shocked when he did that I almost fell over, but as usual I am entirely to strong for the majority. Piss on him, I told him how the only thing affected by his outburst was the way he looked to other people. I acted as though I was un-affected by him completely.Oh well, I cried, I cannot lie to you all and when I think about it I get really mad inside. Why do I have to have run ins with people like this? He is worthless and a creep, and I will deal with this, one way or the other. If he gets in my way, I most certainly will deal with it.For the most part the casino is beautiful! I will take pics this Monday and post them so you can see how pretty it truly is. We are gonna take the Delta by storm, they won't know what hit 'em!MAyLyn,What a very long week. Hunter was a little poop this past week too! He had to spend a whole day "in school detention" for going from seat to seat on the bus, yes, over the top of the seats stepping on students and being his usual cheerful self, although the kids that got stepped on were not to happy. Who figures?Tina Marie, that's a different story, she misses you and has spoken of you often this past week. I am thinking maybe she should write down all of her memories of you in a special book so she will have them forever.Alexsis does a decent job at watching over them both, she trult loves them with all her heart, but I know she wishes you were here. She feels over whelmed sometimes, and I really do not cut her any slack, well not much anyhow. Her babies are loved and they are loving too. Angelina told me if I would just take her to where you are resting she would fix you and make you grow up out of the ground like her flowers. She is amazing for a 3 year old. Yes, she makes me cry too.Daddy? He is my rock as always, the one who holds me when I cry and tells me that my world is not falling apart, it is actually coming together. He tells me how strong I am and somehow gets me to believe him. But you know all about it right? You see everything now, we feel you here sometimes, hear your laugh in Tina, or see your crazy antics in Hunter.I will try to stay sane once again and make this time special for all of us again with a little help from you. With a little help from you my girl.Love Momma Forever PLH