There is something now in retrospect that I would like to share. I have not shared with anybody the feelings or emotion that course through me.
My Husband has enough to deal with already.
My Daughter Alexsis has her hands full with two babies under the age of three and she helps me with my two all the time.
My Mom is incapacitated.
Daddy is a retired Green Beret Army man, so for the longest time it was chin up, handle it girl, and the whole time his heart was broken too, the was his first Grandchild.
I am clueless as to why I have not spoken to anyone in 3 years. I have not talked to anyone about the way I feel and have felt about my Daughter's death. It hit me the hardest when my Dad came through the door took one look at my face and said "She's not coming back!" He meant well enough, but it hit me like a freight train. I became really angry, and hurt but releived. Sounds stupid I know. But nobody had said anything to melike that. It was sort of like being freed, this huge weight lifted, I am still clueless here. I only know what I feel, not what it means. One day I am halfway normal, the next is always a mystery.
My Husband has enough to deal with already.
My Daughter Alexsis has her hands full with two babies under the age of three and she helps me with my two all the time.
My Mom is incapacitated.
Daddy is a retired Green Beret Army man, so for the longest time it was chin up, handle it girl, and the whole time his heart was broken too, the was his first Grandchild.
I am clueless as to why I have not spoken to anyone in 3 years. I have not talked to anyone about the way I feel and have felt about my Daughter's death. It hit me the hardest when my Dad came through the door took one look at my face and said "She's not coming back!" He meant well enough, but it hit me like a freight train. I became really angry, and hurt but releived. Sounds stupid I know. But nobody had said anything to melike that. It was sort of like being freed, this huge weight lifted, I am still clueless here. I only know what I feel, not what it means. One day I am halfway normal, the next is always a mystery.
Replies
My days are the same, one day normal and the next is up side down. I wish I had the answer for you, but I dont. YOu need to open up about things, holding them in is going to tear you apart. I am here to talk anytime....Pam
Some days I don\'t even know how I feel. Some days the numbness comes back, then the next sadness, then the next sort of ok if that\'s even a feeling. I know we all talk about well-meaning people but everyonce in awhile there is one person that has to snap us to reality. No matter how harsh it is. We make not like them for it at the time but we will respect them for it lately. I think that is what your dad did for you. I am just glad you didn\'t wait another 3 years to start talking. The only way I can figure to get to the other side of grief is to keep talking. Never stop. If you need a shoulder or an ear, I have two. Lots of love, Jake\'s mom, Kathy
Sweetie I just wanted to say I\'m glad you started talking to your day also!! I once got upset over a somthing real dumb that my dad said and I dident talk to my parents for three years! then one day out of the blue my mom called and wanted my husband and I to move them to where we lived in Arkansas at the time and thay had moved to Arz, from Ark , well thay dident like it and thay were there about seven months, so thay payed us to fly down so we could drive the u-haul back and my mom and I drove back in there car !! well both my parents were killed in a car wreck on the way to Ark and that was the sadiest day of my life! :(
so its great that you started talking to your dad after three years I got three days with my parents and then thay were gone for ever:( god bless you sweetie and may god bring you many blessings in your life! Leigh,