I didn't drink yesterday but I'm drinking now. I didn't feel like drinking yesterday or today, all day. It barely crossed my mind that I like alcohol but have a problem. Til I was driving home from work tonight and all this caffeine I had made me feel like I won't sleep til possibly 4am. Is that really healthier than drinking a little and sleeping? I thought.
 
I felt safe buying it so late since after midnight I can't go back for more. I've been slacking on doing things I know keep me from alcohol, forgetting I'm an alcoholic. How I can do that after all I've been thru because of it is a mystery. I sadly remember over a year ago thinking the same damn thing, that instead of thinking "I won't drink today" it's better to decide "I won't slack off today" meaning I wont get complacent and that always worked better than promising myself not to drink. Jailed twice for public intoxication in the last three months should have been my big wake up calls. Car accidents in the past, though no one was injured, should have been enough.
 
Inn has convinced I could accidentally kill an entire family and get a DWI with third degree manslaughter and it wouldn't be enough if I keep getting complacent. I have to work on this even if I don't feel like drinking. By the time I want a drink it's usually too late