Didn't drink yesterday but did feel slightly tempted as evening approached. I got used drinking almost every night before bedtime.
 
Having a good day. I woke up depressed which is typical lately but decided to make a to do list and force myself to complete it. I took my gabapentine which helps my depression and anxiety and a big cup of coffee then went out on the sunlit porch and played with my adorable nephew for nearly two hours. We looked thru a big tool box, and he was fascinated by the tools and how they work.
 
It really helped take my mind off my troubled life and helped get me more motivated to get my to do list done. My ex boyfriend contacted me yesterday after a long period of us not talking anymore. We broke up over a year ago but have kept in touch even after he moved four hours away.
 
I still want him back but don't tell him that. I think he knows. I don't hide my emotions well.. I've dated around but found no one I like and click with as much as him. He's super attractive to me and real playful and jokes a lot which i love. Our relationship was light hearted, fun and full of bantering. I was ALWAYS happy to be with him. It hurts that he came back for spring break and then wrote me right after he left without telling me he was here.
He has told me he wants the distance because he still has feelings for me and since we aren't together and aren't supposed to be together anymore that we need to be distanced and stopped visiting and hanging out so much. It hurt anyway. I think he could have hung out with me this one time since we haven't seen each other since his move long ago.  I was glad he started writing yesterday but I'm probably not going to write him anymore. Unless he really pursues it and explains why he couldn't visit me with a good reason but he probably won't. I find it helpful to write men online from a dating site even if nothing comes of it it keeps me from writing my ex.