Today

 
 
 
Today
I woke up and got the boys off to school.
I went by the shop to see Bill’s solitary truck without yours.
I visited you at your grave.
I weeded the garden and pruned the overhanging branches of the trees along the drive.
I did the laundry, picked up the house, cleaned, took the garbage out and did dishes.
I sat down to write this poem thinking it would help somehow and somehow it didn’t.
I made plans for the weekend that seemed hollow and joyless.
Life, without you in it is aimless, I just go through the motions.
I’ve been told to “fake it ‘til I make it” because that will help.
But right now, this very minute, my tear cannot be faked nor my smile.
The ache inside will go away eventually, but right now, this very minute, it is all encompassing.
I am tired, and lonely, and need to hold you one more time.
Just for today.