Feeling completely dreadful. Will things ever start getting better, it's been far too long, the feelings just aren't shifting and I just don't think they ever will. How could a human cause such pain and sadness to another, I will never understand this. Why me? Why me? Is all I can ask myself, maybe I'm being selfish, maybe I shouldn't think about things as much as I do. But it's difficult. So bloody difficult.  Maybe he was being selfish, maybe I'm just being human and acting upon my sadness like any other person would. I'll never have the answers or the justice that I and many others deserve but I guess that's just a way of life. A sadistic way of life.