42 days.
He changed his picture to one that he sent me from one of his trips.
I think that he had other girls after me, I don't know if he still likes me but I do believe that he had others. Why do I care? Why do I need him to make sure that it was special for him too?
I'm trying to get better, I'm dealing with depression and I'm trying to get over it, to feel better without taking antidepressants. I want to still be me, I refuse to go down becaus of his lies. yes.. lies. He would hate it when I DOUBTED HIS WORD when he said he loves me. He didn't. His actions were of a person that didn't care about his partner. He cared his own way, that's what I used to say. His own way.
His own way wasn't enough for me. his own way usually would end up with me crying and feeling lonely even when he was just right there, just right next to me in bed. I wold cry and he wouldn't make even a move towards me, a hug. How couldn't he hug me? It's basic human interaction.. when you see someone sad you hug that person.
What do I miss? The idea of having a boyfriend? someone to hold me, to give and receive care from?or is it him?or is it me when I was with him?or id it that possessive feeling of not liking that he's been with someone else?This relationship had precious moments but I think that this is making me more harm than good.my ex-relationship. Inside, deep deep inside I'm still hoping he'll come. I'm still hoping he'll think thinghs through and gets to the realization that I'm his love, that it's me and that he'll come to find me.
But will I trust in such person my heart? will I accept him, after he was with other girls, after the time he took, after what I'm going through... How can I even think about accepting him! Maybe he's the love of my life and this was just a phase and from now on things will get perfect, he'll get attentive and lovely and caring...this is what my heart says. What my less emotional part would say is:
S. you are a lovely person. He couldn't give you your worth, and he probably won't come back because he still can't. He's one of those persons that once he puts something in his mind he goes through with it and he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. He doesn't want to wake up next to you or take care of you when you need him. It's the truth. This isn't sad. Sd would be you go talk to him, and go try to convince him and he says no. sad would be if he says yes, and 2 days after he says no again. Stop giving him the CHOICE. It's your body. you have a choice too. So make the choice. Who do you choose:YOU or HIM.
I need to choose me.so fuck him.
He changed his picture to one that he sent me from one of his trips.
I think that he had other girls after me, I don't know if he still likes me but I do believe that he had others. Why do I care? Why do I need him to make sure that it was special for him too?
I'm trying to get better, I'm dealing with depression and I'm trying to get over it, to feel better without taking antidepressants. I want to still be me, I refuse to go down becaus of his lies. yes.. lies. He would hate it when I DOUBTED HIS WORD when he said he loves me. He didn't. His actions were of a person that didn't care about his partner. He cared his own way, that's what I used to say. His own way.
His own way wasn't enough for me. his own way usually would end up with me crying and feeling lonely even when he was just right there, just right next to me in bed. I wold cry and he wouldn't make even a move towards me, a hug. How couldn't he hug me? It's basic human interaction.. when you see someone sad you hug that person.
What do I miss? The idea of having a boyfriend? someone to hold me, to give and receive care from?or is it him?or is it me when I was with him?or id it that possessive feeling of not liking that he's been with someone else?This relationship had precious moments but I think that this is making me more harm than good.my ex-relationship. Inside, deep deep inside I'm still hoping he'll come. I'm still hoping he'll think thinghs through and gets to the realization that I'm his love, that it's me and that he'll come to find me.
But will I trust in such person my heart? will I accept him, after he was with other girls, after the time he took, after what I'm going through... How can I even think about accepting him! Maybe he's the love of my life and this was just a phase and from now on things will get perfect, he'll get attentive and lovely and caring...this is what my heart says. What my less emotional part would say is:
S. you are a lovely person. He couldn't give you your worth, and he probably won't come back because he still can't. He's one of those persons that once he puts something in his mind he goes through with it and he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. He doesn't want to wake up next to you or take care of you when you need him. It's the truth. This isn't sad. Sd would be you go talk to him, and go try to convince him and he says no. sad would be if he says yes, and 2 days after he says no again. Stop giving him the CHOICE. It's your body. you have a choice too. So make the choice. Who do you choose:YOU or HIM.
I need to choose me.so fuck him.
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