I miss you and you're an idiot... but I'm a bigger one.
my life right now could be titled like this. I miss you and you did a lot of stupid thoughtless things but I want you back. but why do I want you back exactly? you've proven to me that you don't want anything with me, you may have liked me but right now you don't want a relationship with me, you said so yourself. my brain keeps convincing me that that isn't what you actually think, that that was just some idea your friends put into your head but you're old enough aren't you? so why am I being selfish and a tribute your mistakes to other people? you are as good as the people you hurt when you said you wouldn't. you're as good as your actions, and yours showed a total disregard for my feelings. you're not a lost kid, you're an adult that knows what's best for you, and in your own words, I'm not the best for you. 
so why, dear brain, would you want someone that thinks you're not the best? that doesn't wake up thinking about you, that isn't excited to talk to you.. won't you prefer to wait for someone like that? stop being selfish and hang onto the past because it's comfy and he promised you this or that or he smiles at you or he comes to talk to you. he doesn't come to know if you're okay, how many times has he asked you how are you? none. he just comes to say he talked to you so he is polite. he is in the upper hand.stop letting him hurt you.you deserve better, so stop waiting for someone that doesn't see you as the best.