Feeling much better this week and back on track again. This weekend is the Santa Claus Parade here so I am taking my grand daughter. I am really excited about that...we always have so much fun when we are together. With Christmas approaching I am filled with emotions. I know it is going to be a difficult time but I am excited about seeing family again. Thats my favorite part of the holiday season getting to spend time with my family and friends. I do have some concerns though because I heard through the grapevine that my x is planning to be at my mom's for Christmas dinner. I guess he goes to visit her quite often and he is good friends with my sister and brother-in-law. He has been a part of our family for a long time so I understand them still talking to him and all but having him there for Christmas dinner? I am in no way prepared or ready for that. I have not seen him since I left in May and I am not ready yet to do so. I have spent every Christmas with my mom and family but as difficult as it would be I would sooner stay here then travel all the way home only to have him hanging out at her house for the holidays and ruining my Christmas. I know it would really set me back and right now I don't need that. They seem to think because I was the one who choose to leave that I should be okay with things, that I should beable to just get on with my life. They don't seem to understand all the pain and hurt that is involved and how I stuggle day to day. They feel sorry for him because I left him. They don't seem to care how cruel he was to me for so many years but then again they never seen that side of him. I always kept it well hidden because I never wanted people to know how I was truly living. I will get through this just as I always do but I wish they would have a little more respect for me and my feelings. Is that too much to ask?
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It\'s good to hear from you. I haven\'t been on DS so much lately, although I think I need to. I totally understand what you are saying. Just take it one day at a time, especially now that the holidays have approached. We had a family ritural. The day before Thanksgiving, the ex and I would spend the day prepping food for the next day {cut potatotes, cut cheese, make pies, etc}. We would also rent several DVD movies that we wanted to see. Thanksgiving day, we would cook/eat breakfast, and then get back to cooking the Thanksgiving Dinner. Everyone would shower and dress up for dinner. The day after Thanksgiving, I would get up at 3 am and hit Walmart & the mall. Once I got back home, my daughter and I would spend the entire day putting up the Christmas tree. I feel as if he has stolen this from me. Of course, I can complete this routine without him, but there will be something missing; something other than the tension, or walking on egg shells. The times he was kind, the sweet kisses, that is what I will miss and hate that he has taken from me. BUT, when I wake up from this daze, I have no regrets about leaving, b/c beneath it all, he is still an ass. Keep your head up, and have loads of fun w/your grandaughter.
Wow StartinAnew!! Darrrrnnn girlfriend.....I have had to set boundaries with my family too here in OKC....so Thanksgiving for me was only going to be with my 17 yr old son if he stays home and does not go to Tulsa area to visit his Dad\'s parents. I was getting more and more depressed as the Holiday got closer...then a friend of mine suggested that I invite soldiers from the local Air Force base to eat Thanksgiving dinner at my house....many of them are also far away from their families....and whoooo hoooo, now I have 30 soldiers coming to my house for Thanksgiving dinner (say a prayer, I have NEVER cooked for that many hungry people on my own before).... and a blind date to help me carve the turkey!! I guess I am truly losing my mind here in OKC.....but having the time of my life doing it!! You are welcome to visit me here at Christmas in OKC to avoid your family situation. Hugs!! Cindi
I am sorry to hear of your difficulties with family. I hope you can find some peace and comfort during this holiday season.