Feeling much better this week and back on track again. This weekend is the Santa Claus Parade here so I am taking my grand daughter. I am really excited about that...we always have so much fun when we are together. With Christmas approaching I am filled with emotions. I know it is going to be a difficult time but I am excited about seeing family again. Thats my favorite part of the holiday season getting to spend time with my family and friends. I do have some concerns though because I heard through the grapevine that my x is planning to be at my mom's for Christmas dinner. I guess he goes to visit her quite often and he is good friends with my sister and brother-in-law. He has been a part of our family for a long time so I understand them still talking to him and all but having him there for Christmas dinner? I am in no way prepared or ready for that. I have not seen him since I left in May and I am not ready yet to do so.  I have spent every Christmas with my mom and family but as difficult as it would be I would sooner stay here then travel all the way home only to have him hanging out at her house for the holidays and ruining my Christmas. I know it would really set me back and right now I don't need that.  They seem to think because I was the one who choose to leave that I should be okay with things, that I should beable to just get on with my life. They don't seem to understand all the pain and hurt that is involved and how I stuggle day to day. They feel sorry for him because I left him. They don't seem to care how cruel he was to me for so many years but then again they never seen that side of him.  I always kept it well hidden because I never wanted people to know how I was truly living.  I will get through this just as I always do but I wish they would have a little more respect for me and my feelings. Is that too much to ask?