All my life I have tried to please people. Do what will make others happy but no matter what I do I seem to get somebody upset with me. I am always there when anybody wants me but then another person will want me to do something at the same time and if I can't they get so angry. I end up in tears, crying for days and feeling like crap and they won't talk to me until I give into them and then when I do I get somebody else mad. I just want to have some peace..I want to live my life being me and not being somebody that everybody else wants me to be. It upsets me when I know I have hurt somebody by saying no or by doing something wrong. I try to be the best friend I can be...the best sister..the best mom..the best grandma and I tried to be the best wife but I failed at that miserably..no matter what I did for him it was never enough. Why does life have to be so difficult, why can't I just be me?
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Life sure is very difficult. I see bad things happen to good people everyday. I hate that. The thing is, that you will never be happy until you can learn to say NO, and to do some things for you, not someone else. You cannot please everyone, you cannot save everyone, or even help everyone. It is just impossible. You have to learn to love yourself and be kind to yourself. You have to draw a line in the sand some place, and say enough is enough. It does not mean you have to turn into the wiked witch from the west! It just means that you are for the first time in your life, being good to yourself, and putting your needs at the top of thelist sometimes. There is nothing in the world wrong with being good to yourself.People that are looking to you for their happiness, are being selfish. Each of us is at some poing got to take responsibility and controll over our own destiny and life. Pray, and do what you and God think you need to do. Try that and see what happens. Truthfully each of us has to make our own happiness. Each of us are supposed to give AND take. You are NOT supposed to give, give, give. See it is not you who is failing. It is whoever is looking to you to find their answers, and happiness for them. It just soes not happen that way. Start out small if you have to! Start treating yourself to something, just that you want to do . Just because. Go to a day spa, get a massage, and when someone asks you to do something that you DO NOT want to do, TRY SAYIN SORRY
I too am a people pleaser and always have been. I am working hard at finding that balance between being an enabler and people pleaser. With my husband I never wanted tension and would always do things that went against what I stood for or knew was wrong just to please and keep the peace. I am working hard now at trying to stand for what I believe and learn that I cant please everyone or make everyone happy all the time. It is just impossible. I really believe that our happiness has to come from within and that is a hard thing, but I know it is possible. I hope that we can do this and you are right when you say it does have to start out small.