Everybody is so supportive here...I can't help but shed a few tears every time I read somebody's reply to me.  To have people who don't even really know me, care so much about me is so touching...my own family don't even support me when it comes to my situation..8(  Their attitude seems to be just brush it under the carpet and it will go away. I even had my mom say to me well can't you just stay together and live in different rooms..just ignore each other..you have put up with each other this long so why not just keep doing it. Her thought is, "What will I tell people?" I have always been brought up not to do things to embarass my family..to do the right thing...that's how I ended up married to who I did in the first place. I know I don't post much in the groups for fear of sounding silly or saying something that may offend somebody...for so many years I have been told I was stupid and that my thoughts and feelings didn't matter.  Over the years I have come to keep a lot inside...at least my thoughts and feelings are safe in there.  It seemed no matter what I would say to H he would roll his eyes and say "don't be so stupid" or he would completely blank me out. Sometimes just something I simply said would send him into a complete rage...so I learned to be careful about what I said and how I said it for fear of what would happen. If my children or I did something wrong in his eyes...he would bring it up over and over again...years later even.  Now I just don't talk to him at all...I avoid conversation with him as much as possible. I have been told so many times by him over the years that I am crazy for feeling the way that I do. I try to believe in me and my feelings but it seems I am always second guessing myself...wondering if I am right for feeling the way I do..wondering if I voice my thoughts will people think I am stupid.  I am so fragile sometimes and get hurt so easily. If I say something that hurts somebody else it tears me apart...the last thing I want to do is hurt anybody.  I know sometimes my daughter will say things to me that she thinks nothing of and maybe another person wouldn't either but I end of feeling hurt. I don't let it show cause I know she didn't mean anything by it but after she is gone I will go in my room and cry and feel I failed her. In time maybe I will feel safe to post in the groups but for now I feel most safe here in my journal......