Choices

It's always ever about choices. I made the choice all that comes with it. What I lose I hope I will regain in the future. There is something that is in short supply, hope. I've become Atlas and it feels like the whole world rests on my shoulders. Still no big fight, I like apathy. I can tolerate being ignored, it's happened most off my life anyway. Part of me is afraid to go upstairs and leave for work. I am an adult, I've doing wrong to anybody why do I feel guilty? Why does it feel like I've become the bad guy? 
Only 2 of my friends know the burden that I bare, at least I have some support. There is some tether to the area that I currently live. I feel as if I will need to make another choice soon. A choice about where airborne live and the next steps airborne will take. These are things I do not want to do, what I would want is acceptance and understanding.
Why did this happen like this. Crushed.