7/19/2015 Feeling More Positive About Being An Aspie
That was a weird roller coaster for the last few weeks. I'm feeling leveled out & not so scared about this Name for my Worldview.
I made the mistake of confiding my Asperger's to my mother & sister. My other sister found out through Mom.
That was a friggin' nightmare that had me in my Aspie bubble for while. First, my sister (who gets drunk nightly, just like our mother) decided it was her job to cure me with her love. Eewwww, get off my case & get out of my bubble. We had a conversation the next day when she was sober & I laid it on the line. She hasn't known me for decades- only at family functions. You & our other sister have a better relationship. I cycle up & down sometimes so get over it & leave me alone. I'll send a text when I feel "better". She said fair enough & left me alone.
My mother: this is totally bizarre. When I called her, she handled the call all wrong in my Aspie view. First, she TALKED OVER ME to tell me all about my cousin so & so who adopted a kid w/Aspergers ad infinitum. Ummm, Mom? This is about me... Secondly, she demands to know why all of a sudden am I not happy? (no one is happy 100% of the time) "You were so happy when you first moved to North Carolina & why are you so down all of a sudden?" She continued to talk over me & I could not explain myself. She proceeded to call daily for the next 3 or 4 days.
Intrusion into my Aspie bubble here... Big Time.
She asks time after time in phone call after phone call: Why? What's wrong? And she began crying when I stood up for myself & talked over her to get my point across. I finally said that I don't want your needle poking my bubble, Mom. I'll come around, now leave me alone. She calls me again- "Oh, I get it now, I looked up Asperger's & I have it too", says Mom. Grrrrrrr... I went off on her again.
Mom goes too far about the 4th day. She grows a set of balls & calls my ex-hubby! (I did confide in him a few days before, but his attitude was totally non judgemental & we had a productive conversation about yes, this explains quite a lot about me & why our marriage tanked. End of story, no hoopla from him.) Ex-hubby laid into Mom & basically told her- back off, she's a grown woman, she understands herself. Leave her alone & she'll come around, and don't call me anymore. It's not my place to talk to you about MelodyJane. We're divorcing, remember?
I must have seemed manic during this. No one in the family is used to me speaking over them or sticking up for myself.
Had an emergency session with my counselor. Such a big blunder to tell family, she says. Oh shit. Aspies don't know social rules that well. I guess I'll follow this social rule for when I talk to Mom: it'll be all "Rainbows, Unicorns & Candy" from now on.
I finally felt less awkward 2 nights ago & sent sister a text asking if it was ok to come over for game night. Yep. Had a fun night playing board games with nary a mention of Aspergers. Last night I met her, her hubby & her MIL for dinner at our favorite local Mexican place. After dinner, I went to her house & we played board games & had a grand ole time.
You, Go Drunk Ass Sister! Mom, grow up.
And, now I'm wondering- is it me that's normal & the rest of the family is messed up?
I made the mistake of confiding my Asperger's to my mother & sister. My other sister found out through Mom.
That was a friggin' nightmare that had me in my Aspie bubble for while. First, my sister (who gets drunk nightly, just like our mother) decided it was her job to cure me with her love. Eewwww, get off my case & get out of my bubble. We had a conversation the next day when she was sober & I laid it on the line. She hasn't known me for decades- only at family functions. You & our other sister have a better relationship. I cycle up & down sometimes so get over it & leave me alone. I'll send a text when I feel "better". She said fair enough & left me alone.
My mother: this is totally bizarre. When I called her, she handled the call all wrong in my Aspie view. First, she TALKED OVER ME to tell me all about my cousin so & so who adopted a kid w/Aspergers ad infinitum. Ummm, Mom? This is about me... Secondly, she demands to know why all of a sudden am I not happy? (no one is happy 100% of the time) "You were so happy when you first moved to North Carolina & why are you so down all of a sudden?" She continued to talk over me & I could not explain myself. She proceeded to call daily for the next 3 or 4 days.
Intrusion into my Aspie bubble here... Big Time.
She asks time after time in phone call after phone call: Why? What's wrong? And she began crying when I stood up for myself & talked over her to get my point across. I finally said that I don't want your needle poking my bubble, Mom. I'll come around, now leave me alone. She calls me again- "Oh, I get it now, I looked up Asperger's & I have it too", says Mom. Grrrrrrr... I went off on her again.
Mom goes too far about the 4th day. She grows a set of balls & calls my ex-hubby! (I did confide in him a few days before, but his attitude was totally non judgemental & we had a productive conversation about yes, this explains quite a lot about me & why our marriage tanked. End of story, no hoopla from him.) Ex-hubby laid into Mom & basically told her- back off, she's a grown woman, she understands herself. Leave her alone & she'll come around, and don't call me anymore. It's not my place to talk to you about MelodyJane. We're divorcing, remember?
I must have seemed manic during this. No one in the family is used to me speaking over them or sticking up for myself.
Had an emergency session with my counselor. Such a big blunder to tell family, she says. Oh shit. Aspies don't know social rules that well. I guess I'll follow this social rule for when I talk to Mom: it'll be all "Rainbows, Unicorns & Candy" from now on.
I finally felt less awkward 2 nights ago & sent sister a text asking if it was ok to come over for game night. Yep. Had a fun night playing board games with nary a mention of Aspergers. Last night I met her, her hubby & her MIL for dinner at our favorite local Mexican place. After dinner, I went to her house & we played board games & had a grand ole time.
You, Go Drunk Ass Sister! Mom, grow up.
And, now I'm wondering- is it me that's normal & the rest of the family is messed up?
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