Friday......
Hey everyone! Been out of the loop for quite a while.... I FINALLY got a "job"; it's NOT my dream, and it helps pay the bills and buy cat food!! I'm called an "Outreach Specialist", which sounds a lot more enticing than it is! Ultimately, I'm to teach Smoking Cessation classes - either in this office or out in the community. The difficult part will be to get people in the classes. Apparently the previous person didn't do all that well doing so.
At the moment, I'm sitting in an office (my first "office job" EVER!), and am bored out of my mind. This is a non-profit organization, and it seems that nobody really cares if anyone does anything productive during the day, so I sit around - well - doing this today. (Actually, I used White Out on the previous person's business card so I could put my name there until I get my own. Hey! I'm getting paid to sit here; I could be home and NOT getting paid, albeit not a whole lot of money.....) After many months of living on what little I have saved, I've been living in fear that I would be homeless if I ever ran out of money, since there was not enough coming in (less than $600 a month from SS!). So, some of THAT stress has been eliminated. However, I'll definitely need another source if I want to live above what I consider "poverty level" - i.e. making enough to get by. My desire is to lead a rich, nourishing, fulfilling life. And, unfortunately, that does require more money than I'm generating. Plus, at 71, I do know I have to plan for the future. (OMG, I can't believe that's how old I am; I've never psychologically or physically left my 30"s!!!) I don't have a soul to turn to if I ever have a crisis, much less when I'm old and can't take care of myself. And, tho I don't dwell on it, it is a reality. But for now, I'm being GRATEFUL that I have what I have and won't be out in the street. And.....my cats are safe and healthy. That's probably the WORST fear I had/have; that I wouldn't be able to take care of them. It would break my heart to give them up - and I don't have to!!!! Yea God!!
I go for training mid-February, so hopefully will come back with a handle on what to do. Meantime, I'm forcing myself to "dummy down" and try to be creative with the 4 hours I have to be here. So I brought books to read. No one bothers me and, from what I gather from my office mate, that's how things go around here. "Laid back" does not begin to describe it.
Anyway, I'm forced to get dressed and leave the house, which I'm often not inclined to do. My depression has settled into a sort of malaise; not excited/upbeat - not depressed - just functioning without much joy. Pity I couldn't find a place to work with upbeat people. That's my next goal; to build a community of like-minded, positive friends. Haven't done a real good job with that, either. But then, it does make it difficult to have interactions with other human beings when one doesn't leave the safety of one's home. Gotta change that. I really do want to have some fun before I die!!
Blessings to everyone!
At the moment, I'm sitting in an office (my first "office job" EVER!), and am bored out of my mind. This is a non-profit organization, and it seems that nobody really cares if anyone does anything productive during the day, so I sit around - well - doing this today. (Actually, I used White Out on the previous person's business card so I could put my name there until I get my own. Hey! I'm getting paid to sit here; I could be home and NOT getting paid, albeit not a whole lot of money.....) After many months of living on what little I have saved, I've been living in fear that I would be homeless if I ever ran out of money, since there was not enough coming in (less than $600 a month from SS!). So, some of THAT stress has been eliminated. However, I'll definitely need another source if I want to live above what I consider "poverty level" - i.e. making enough to get by. My desire is to lead a rich, nourishing, fulfilling life. And, unfortunately, that does require more money than I'm generating. Plus, at 71, I do know I have to plan for the future. (OMG, I can't believe that's how old I am; I've never psychologically or physically left my 30"s!!!) I don't have a soul to turn to if I ever have a crisis, much less when I'm old and can't take care of myself. And, tho I don't dwell on it, it is a reality. But for now, I'm being GRATEFUL that I have what I have and won't be out in the street. And.....my cats are safe and healthy. That's probably the WORST fear I had/have; that I wouldn't be able to take care of them. It would break my heart to give them up - and I don't have to!!!! Yea God!!
I go for training mid-February, so hopefully will come back with a handle on what to do. Meantime, I'm forcing myself to "dummy down" and try to be creative with the 4 hours I have to be here. So I brought books to read. No one bothers me and, from what I gather from my office mate, that's how things go around here. "Laid back" does not begin to describe it.
Anyway, I'm forced to get dressed and leave the house, which I'm often not inclined to do. My depression has settled into a sort of malaise; not excited/upbeat - not depressed - just functioning without much joy. Pity I couldn't find a place to work with upbeat people. That's my next goal; to build a community of like-minded, positive friends. Haven't done a real good job with that, either. But then, it does make it difficult to have interactions with other human beings when one doesn't leave the safety of one's home. Gotta change that. I really do want to have some fun before I die!!
Blessings to everyone!
Replies
Sorry your job is not fun but it\'s good to have some money coming in! I tend to isolate and be home bound as well, and have to MAKE myself do stuff. Today I am going to get my hair cut and colored professionally for the first time in YEARS and just going out to do that has me about ready to vomit! But I know I will feel so much better after. Good luck with your plans. Never give up!